2010 Says Hello!

..and my eyes are bloodshot and I say goodnight! First night drinking. .-. I just listened to Jacon barf three times, hardcore. @.@

Burrrn Baby Burrrrn

Umm.. really tired. Tomorrow's New Year's.. resolution: not be fat. haha I have rug burn.

Lattice

I cleaned today. I want to rip off the lattice. It's ugly.

$8 Taxi To Union Ave, Please

So you lie to your parents. You take a cab to see the love of your life. Your mom suspects something and accuses you of everything that's true. You deny it all. You tell her she's sounding crazy and there is no need to be worried. You assure her that every lie you told her is genuinely true. Get a ride home, but dont walk in at the same time. In fact, get dropped off at the store and pretend to buy something from where you really shouldve been. Walk back home and ask your sister to secretly bring a bag from B&N. You walk in with the bag so it seems you were where you said you were the entire time. Guilt slowly loses its place in your heart with lying to family. The only good in this all..is really hard to see. The benefit was being able to be with that certain person for a simple hour and a half. Risk everything and lose honesty. Should I be happy for a day like this? Slightly. Should I be proud? Nope. Photo's of waiting room to visit a family friend who suffered a heart attack. ICU isn't the cutest part of a hospital.

Avatar

Toothaches are a bitch. I hate sewing. Avatar is a really good series. My vacation has been so goddamned monotonous

Novel Shoe Fetish

Happy Day After Christmas! Umm..I'm still sewing a friggin gift for a friend..I'm almost done though, I'm so happy! Gahh I got new shoes today :D Blowfish is becoming my favorite sho brand..actually I think it already is.. lol Bakers is a favorite store as well.. :D Yay, new shoe fetish! :D Picture of the noneother. <3

Greatest Gift Delivered Tonight

Merry Merry Christmas.. a lot of you should be lucky for the way you spend you holidays. Mine are low-key and I've come to accept that, but I do always wish for more.. I wish for family gatherings and big social scenes, but we can't always get what we want, huh? The entire day was fine until my greatest gift of all was delivered tonight: an arguement with my mother. Good god, those get pretty intense. Over some dishes, really? She kept riding up my butt about it even thoguht I said "Okay". My temper rose and hyperventilation kicked in. She wouldnt stop yelling. I ran to the room to cool off, and she opens the door 10 seconds later and continues to yell at me. Really now? Atleast let me breathe. Photo's of cookies [snowballs] I finished off making for my sister that caused the arguement.

Are We Even Celebrating At All?

Happy Christmas Eve, world. and I guess disregard that if you dont celebrate lol. Being able to wake up late without any worries is such a blessing. Today was my sister's birthday and we just totally celebrated low-key. Around noon, my mom and I sang to my sister as she stood over a tiny Carvel cake. We ate spaghetti;: very common in Filipino celebrations. [I think it's for good luck or something] Its so depressing how my family comes about celebrating the holidays. By 9PM I was sitting exactly where I am now as my dad shut his door, ready to head in for the night. My mom is at work and my brother's gone. My 21 year old sister did not even get piss drunk. This is typically how it is with any holiday -sigh- You get used to it...as much as you don't want to.

Half-Days Feel Like The Fullest Ones

Half-days are pretty awesome. Alot of time to hang out with friends. A lot of time to hang out with someone close to your heart. I chilled at his house while his bros were home..it was the first time I really met his brother Josh and we just chilled and ate Pepperoni-Sausage pizza. mmm. lmao Then we hit the basement are watched some TV. Its honestly the nicest feeling in the world to cuddle next to someone you love and hear their heart beat. Sometimes it would get faster or slow down..I noticed it haha. Around 4PM I got a bit tired so we both napped for that hour. It was very nice waking up, knowing that you were still there and feeling the warmth of your body. :D I love you. This post is only a day late because I couldn't get online last night. >.> Don't judge. haha The photo is of the pizza we ate. nom! :3

Hes So Tired On The Phone Right Now

I'm tired. Christmas party was tongnight...tried to make cookies, tried to make gift.

failure.

Christmas Spirit

I'm kinda of getting in the Christmas spirit..lol I just finished making one of my gifts and I am very proud of it! It is very legit and believeable! lol I have yet to make the portraits of my parents but that still seems to be taking a while. hrmm..I also need to get started on making some cookies with my sister! :D we have these uber cool decorated chinese take-out boxes from Michaels, and I wanna fill them! Look, Ana thinks to herself, "eh?"

Uh..What Time Is It Again?

Blahh I've been working on my hw all night and it's already 4:49AM of Monday. I went shopping today, being the spoiled kid that I am..its Christmas and I should being buying for others and I just got new clothes. xD To be truthful, shopping and getting new clothes helps my self esteem. haha..I have to do a speech in the morning. kinda nervous about that. woo I'm out. I need to take a shower in the next hour. boo. Picture of my when I was trying on clothes

Omg He's Gonna Hang Up!

I'm kind of tired but I've been on the phone with this bucko for like 6:43 hours. XD I tried not to eat a lot today, but I ended up just scroching down a bunch of tortilla chips haha.. this is a new record :D Look, the picture means nothing. -filler-

Given A Day

...and I can't stand to be without you. I am still determined to kept the rest of my life together- my friendships around- but it is so difficult trying. I don't argue today because I needed to make up for lost time; I have caught myself to be far too distant lately. And yes, you are the reason why. =] I choose to be with you every opportunity that comes my way which, in turn, pulls me away from them. I don't argue today, yet I feel such a void from it. I can't stand cutting off all connection from you for hours; I could've texted you, but I didn't want to go against the reason why I was hanging out with them in the first place. I know you feel the same void- the same emptiness- that I do. We are so ridiculous..let's not do that again. I love you. lol Look, we became kids again, painting paper plates for no good reason!!

15 Parts To A Belated Birthday Gift

Welll..today was cute :) I hope you enjoyed my gift for you..I put alotttaaa thought into it. I figured that since you were getting punched all day by guy friends, it'll be a good change of pace to just give you 15 kisses in a progression :D #1 was a simple kiss on the cheek..and it went on from there. It was fun while it lasted :D haha Look, Kevin came by after school today and I haven''t seen that kid foreverrrr! haha.. eh. my face..is fat. Gotta stop eating so much!

Happy Birthday, Love!

Oh my goodness its cold! -puts foot on heater- ahhh.. :D

lol well first and foremost, I would like to wish a special, special person oh so dear to me, a happy birthday. Despite the fact that you don't celebrate this, I'm grateful for every day having you around. Today was so stressful..even before I got off the bus this morning I felt like dying. Our concert was yesterday, and it ended at 9PM. By the time I got home, I was completely exhausted and just wanted to sleep. No matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes open, they gradually fell into place. Doing homework was completely impossible, so I was forced to cram it all during school hours. I cut my hair today. It was somewhat spur of the moment, but at the same time not. I've been acting on impulse lately, and its been working both positively and negatively for me. I'm tired. Headdingg out nowwww! Look, papa is hawt in a headband.

Last Ones In

Tonight was the concert and a great day between you and me. This is the first time we got to be alone for an afternoon and just let the day take us away. Tonight, being with you during the concert was fun I gave you a kiss on the cheek for good luck and you returned one right back. Bleh during intermission, I thought we have about 20 minutes. I lost track of time just relaxing with you in the band room with no one around, and you eventually realized everyone had their instruments.. We were the last ones in the auditorium to sit down. >.> Thats not suspicious at alllll..lol but forreal! we didnt do anything haah. Look, its my "almost best friend" actuing like shes a biker. xD

"I've Watched Myself Become the Bitch"

..So I've wanted to write this post for about a year and a half now.. Over the past year I have learned to accept my feelings and allow myself to show my anger and sadness once in a while. We're all human. In the process, I told myself that I didn't want to watch myself "become the bitch" and so here I am. A little upset, I have become the asshole I didn't want to be. Isn't there some saying that explains how we end up becoming what we hate most? I used to be this really, really nice, polite girl who gave respect to everyone. Now, I will admit that I am more comfortable with who I am, but it's not always in control. Sometimes I get carried away with jokes and cross the border onto insult. I'm really going to try to fix myself, and hold back, for the sake of my own morality. And hey, my optmism will get there..eventually. Oh joy, Olga has made my blog two pictures and counting! haha He's in her "obtuse-fuckin' corner" lmfao

And Still, I Am in Awe

We can end our nights on good nots and bad ones. I won't say that last night was a bad one, but it was unnecessary. The problem didn't need to occur, but it arose anyway. I'm just glad that our relationship has the ability to make-up pretty fast. I refuse to let days go by with a stupid arguement still lingering. Let alone, I can't even sleep through a single night with such a heavy heart. From a bad night, we have travelled into the next night having such a heart-felt conversation. I feel like saving every message you've sent in the last two hours. Jesus, I don't understand how I've lucked out so well to find you..to find us. And still, I am in awe. Filler photo: I woke up at 1PM this morning and didn't go to church, so I had nothing to take a pic of except this lol

Partayy

I haven't really hung out with friends in a while. Tonight I hung out at Roland's party, and honestly, it was nice to get around again. It was hard at first, feeling awkward with some situations, but things pulled through in the end. We played Pictionary at first, which was absolutely hilarious. Drawing skills have no effect when you add in a time crunch. We were laughing so hard, interpretting poorly drawn bones as penises.. xD Most of the time, I sat in the kitchen and chilled with Olga and them which was fun. She apprently likes sharp objects haha.. so let's take a vote: Olga is A) licking the knife B) its going up her nose or C) both A and B hahah

Breathless in the Back

How can I even begin to describe tonight, when it leaves me breathless just thinking about it? We had our first [formal] date tonight and the feeling of being wrapped under you arm for 1 hour and 50 min. is outstanding. Our ticket stubs say that we saw New Moon, but our eyes remember the film "Brothers". lol yay rated R..it was kind of funny how we just walked into it, even thgouh it was the first door after the ticket ripper. Its better to go straight in rather than take the second to hesistate. haha I am such a bad influence on you..so sorry! So there we were in the very to row rnjoying the awkwardness of Toby McGuire play a marine. The every so often kisses we shared throughout the movie were amazing, yet me made me nervous because we were around so many people. Anyone in the row in front of us could turn around and see! Each single kiss left me breathless; the second saved it. Towards the end of the moviem there was one point where I didn't want to stop; the moment was great, but the theatre doesn't allow enough for us to continue lol. I love you so much. "Thirsty? What some of this slushie?" Look, Julie tried to braid Armando's hair this perning in English. XD Him and his Simoan hair..

Formal First

Slight yawns of fatigue find their way out out of my mouth as I type this. I'm actually not that tired, but I'm just saying.. Nothing much happened today, other than me constantly thinking about what tomorrow brings. Although Thursday was our first official [casual] date, there is still room for that first formal one. That would be known as the one where we go out alone on some plans and maybe see a movie with dinner. When you told me that you were able to go to the movies tomorrow night, my heart skipped a beat. Even though we've been together for almost three months, this is still a first for the both of us. I feel like it's the first day of Kindergarten all over again. [When I liked school] Loooook, I got allergic reactions from Obama. >.>

First One, Casually

School was a little iffy because my heart can only assume the worst. In times of awkwardness and even the slightest distance, I conclude that there is some kind of problem. Finally, to be alone with you after school is like a change of pace. Being alone with you does miracles on hard feelings. Kicked out of the band room, we first tried to go to your house. Apparently someone was over, so that was off our list of options. We had never really done anything other than head back to your house, so today was definitely something new. I was definitely not up for just leaving to go home, so we found ourselves heading to Dunkin Donuts. The first few minutes we sat down, things still felt a bit wierd. In time, I learned to lift my heart a little, and enjoy the fact that i was with you spending time together. You continue to make fun of my physical features, as I burned on your hair and nose. xD We literally sat there for about an hour and a half, and I loved it entirely. Laughs were frequent; here and there. Eventually, we left and began to walk around. We wandered around the parking lot of School #7 and fonud ourselves going around the highschool and to the stadium. I actually got to hold your hand in public today. What's even better is that it was in your pocket, lol so it was warmer. :D I'm not a humoungous fan of PDA, but it was so nice to have you breathe a bit, outside the restrictions of your religion. I can honestly say I really enjoyed our first official date :D [casually speaking] Friday, we're hopefully having our first formal date to the movies :D I look foreward to this so.. Look, its a gum wrapper on my forehead!

Fixiated To Focus

So I woke up late this morning..that wasn't too fun. My eyelids lifts at 7:52AM and seconds later, my pupils fixiated to focus on the clock. I attempted to call a cab because my brother said he was an hour away. Ten minutes after calling the cab, he calls me back saying to go outside.. what a douche, maaann. When I called the taxi to cancel it, he hung up on me >.> Geez. I got to school and walked into the main office. As it turns out I got the really nice secretary and didn't get Central; woo :D I blame the two cups of coffee from last night. >.> Look, we ushered at the middle school tonight for the chorus concert. good memories there.

Not of Importance

I feel that nothing relevant occured today. Annnd I'm just to lazy to post. Look here's my homework.

Cheat Sheet

So I actually paid attention to church today.. it was pretty wierd. I'm not gonna say that I'm a changed person because knowing me, I'll probably daze off next week and my mind will wander elsewhere. I actually got work done today though. I finished my cheat sheet and whatnot, while webcamming with Ana. Fun stuff, mann. I need to pull my shit together with classes because I can't afford to go down hill from here in any way. Look, I bonded with my papa =0

Call Me Crazy

The events of today are repeatable. What happened tonight is something I can't understand. I took a normal dose of coffee which, in turn, kept me up. Normally, even with the caffeine, I would pass out around 3AM. I'm not so sure, but around that hour, my eyes did no grow heavy. Instead, my entire body grew weak and my left hand was shaking anxiously. I needed to draw. I've been on such a hiatus from paper and pencil, that it all built up until now, begging to release. A majority of you will make fun of me for this, but I can't deny it. Hell, from a third person's view, I would've exited the screen by now. So lucky you for getting this far. Images flash through my head, not knowing what they mean. All that was for sure was that it was going to end up on the blank page in front of me. It took me all of 2+ hours to get through this. I began around 3AM and I'm typing this at 6:20AM. This is what it says on the back-

"I hope the sloppiness of this piece conveys the hard time I had making it. Every time I got to a flower, my whole body caved into a shiver. I fail to believe that the cold is the reason. A lotus represents rebirth; I feel like every flower was a release of bad memories. The roses at the bottom are part of what I have inherited as I let go of the old, hard feelings."

Oh- you haven't exited the window, yet? You're quite the trooper there. I never really know what I'm drawing or what meaning lies behind it until after I'm done. Tonight, though, I felt it with every pencil stroke. I'm not just drawing.

It Never Made It Out Of The Parking Lot

Oh Jesus..I've come to the conclusion that we can never have perfect Fridays. After having a controversial afternoon with you, I got picked up at the high school by my father. I was craving some good old Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate and a glazed stick [stfu dirty minds] and so we passed by the place on the way home. Back in the car, I had my textbook on my lap with the doughnut in a bag and the foam cup sitting on top. I had my hands on top of my cup because we were in the car and I obviously needed to secure it. I know I should have put it in the cup holder, but I was replying to a text from Ana. At the same time, my father was having trouble trying to get onto Joralemon with the passing cars. Every time he tried, he kept stopping short. Finally, the one time he thought he could go, the incoming car didn't stop and my father stopped shorter than ever! Seconds later, there I am with newly poured, hot, hot chocolate all over my legs and lap. The items that used to be on my lap were now on the floor. I tried to stay still and not freak out since we were in the car, but 2 seconds later, the burning sensation settled in and I was unbuttoning my pants and trying to rip them off. >.> When I tried to sit down again, I immediately popped back up. The hot chocolate had spilled on the seat, too. I hate the fact that my father tried to yell at me right after, too, for having the cup open. I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH IT. My items never made it out of the parking lot safely, and $3.03 had gone to waste on something I was longing for so much. T.T Oh, look: I O.D'd on a jar of Nutella with a fork tonight- again. :D

Incapable

So the good news all of today had to be the fact that you are coming tomorrow. I've already said so, but I don't know how I last the three days without you! As I brush my teeth now, I hold up my eyelids to prevent them from shutting tight. I'm not sure why, but I've been quite tired today. In school, I began to feel fatigue so I laid my head down for a couple periods. Sleep is something i need to catch up with, along with my grades. >.> Tonight, we had the minor parade up to the Rec house for the tree lighting, litereally 2 blocks away, and I just wanted to get it over with. Band season is over, and I'm pretty much done for the '09 season. I am incapable of working hard anymore and just want to relax with people I love.

Ping Pong Adventures

Oh sweet report cards..but I don't really care. You were out again today! If you keep this up, I just might end up killing myselfat school haha. I still proceed to text you all day, during our mock trial project in the library. I was so nervous to go up and speak as a witness, but I feel like I did amazing. I'm so glad that I am getting used to talking in so many people; I'm starting to love it. After school, I found out there was never any practice today to begin with. With that, I went right to your house to visit the sickly. As I came to find out, there were Verizon people installing Fios. The "cable lady" , as Jacob refers, was pretty chill and funny haha. We snuck around the house, and found some privacy where we could finally be together..and play ping pong! :D haha..which I fail at tremendously :)

Hot Kisses

Its so hard to get through a school day without you. You came down with a terrible fever the other day and today, I just texted you all throughout school. I couldn't help but wish how I could be there with you and help comfort you. After school, I took up the opportunity to walk over a few blocks to visit and see how you were doing. My decision to do so was made in a heartbeat because it would make up for the 8 hours I have somehow survived without you. I layed down with you and we watched tv, as I felt your hot skin against mine. Honestly, I didn't care if you were sick. I told you that I would always risk getting sick just to be with you; your kisses were just hotter, which was a bit cute. Sick, ut cute. To hug you and jusy lay there watching Cartoon Network was the biggest highlight of my day. Any time I spend with you is the highlight of my day. >> Look how miserable he looks lol

Royalty Stands In A Corner of the Living Room

We've hit 2 months today. Looking back on it months from now, I will remember it as the day you fell pretty damned sick and it rained. Mother nature and god have been plotting against us and not giving us the conditions we crave for a perfect day. Hrmm.. I don't like using the description as "perfect" because every moment I spend with you is perfect. Hrmm.. I went shopping around for ornaments and ribbon with my sister tonight. We finally got the purple accents to complete out purple and gold color scheme. This is by far the mmost beautiful a tree has stoof in our household. It's gorgeous

Go Figure

Nothing great happened today.. I almost passed out at church, go figure. I didn't eat the other night cus I slept the whole day. I'm fine now; the whole day I put up the Christmas Tree.

Touch Me Like An iPod

Woo I finally got an iPod touch! :D after two trips to the mall, of course. at around 8:30am this morning, I went to Willowbrook with my sister and her boyfriend. He ended up buying a SONY TV while I wandered off into the mall. With the crapload of birthday money I had, I decided to walk into the Apple store. I've been wanting an iPod Touch for quite some time now, but now that my 5G video iPod is messed up, I had even more reason to go through with it. Just as I was about to purchase it, the guy who was helping me out, Iqbal, said I could get 10% off if I recycled my old one. Excited yet sad, I left to do just that. As it turns out, I had to leave anyways because my sister's bf had to attend a wedding. About two hours later, I went back with my brother and got it :D That dude, Iqbal, was pretty chill. When I got home, there was nothing really to do except sleep. I sulked in a jar of Nutella with a fork for a while, but i laid on the couch and knocked out. It is so much better to sleep, rather to think as the day goes by, without being able to do something. The day sort of picked back up tonight around 10PM when we began to talk out the problem. I don't know if you're reading this right now, but I love being able to talk about our problems. I never want to just leave them hanging or push them aside. As god may be on our side once again, we stayed on the phone phone.. 1:30AM until 3:47AM. The best few hours of my day. By the end of our conversation, tensions turned into light-hearted laughs, which I just love so much. I refuse to ever let a night go by and fall asleep with a heavy heart. I love you. Oh, I got stuck sitting on the floor this morning with the TV filling up the whole seat.

Black Friday

Well..as he puts his bro to bed, I'll begin to type this post. I woke up at like 5AM to head to Kohl's with my mom n sister and her boyfriend and right when I woke up there was some news. My sister told me that she saw a text i had received after falling asleep from him saying "i love you" and wishing goodnight. I couldn't help but think to myself "fml." I got the "talks" in the parking lot of a Dunkin Donuts so early in the morning, as well as tonight from my father. They're oky with it, but they really don't want me to do anything stupid. My father has so many precautions because he doesn't know squat about relationships. He was a player when he was younger. >.> lmfao..I installed shelves this morning. I think I did a beautiful job. XD

Picked Up My Balls

BEFORE ---------------------------> AFTER

Happy Thanksgiving guys! :D ..[or whoever even reads these] Hrmm..my family really doesn't have a big gathering for a big Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and sister kind of just made food and we ate dinner lol. Not too much of our family is around to gather and my parents don't bother to visit other families to celebrate. Regardless, today is still Thanksgiving and we have so much to be grateful for; at least I know I do. So we were in the living room and my sister and mom were watching The Filipino Channel [TFC]. Then, she ask my ma if they celebrated Thanksgiving in the Philippines. My mom replied with the fact that they don't celebrate it solely on one day because every day is one of giving thanks over there. I thought that was pretty deep. lol ..and its true though. Tonight, I finally decided to clean out my "closet" after like half a year of contemplating the idea. I never really had time, but I finally picked up my balls and did it. haha Its pretty clean now, I feel proud :D

Sweet Sixteen

Decent Birthday.. the biggest highlight of this day that I can say really made my birthday worth it was being with you for that hour after school. :) I felt so relaxed, though you continued to make me laugh with stupid jokes and silly acts. :) Soft kisses from you is all I need on a day like this. Hrmm..I went out to dinner tonight with the family at Cheesecake Factory, also getting my new phone :D woot the enV Touch is pretty chill. I just failed at applying a two-pack of screen protectors onto my new phone. I suck.

God Loves Us?

Wooo one more day until I'm sixteen :D ..eh I'm not that hyped up for it, but its still a day I am grateful for.. Today was..oh boy today. haha Hiding in closets, sneaking out the side door without getting caught, speed walking to the highschool: that is what made up my afternoon. I don't know whether god loves us or time was just on our side today because the timing with everything that happened was so close-called! As soon as I walked up to the front of the highschool, I saw my dad's mini-van pulling up by School #7. As I think about it now, I can't help but laugh. I am very light-hearted about it and all I can think about is how secretive we must always be! I swear, we're living some mission impossible shiz haha. Even though we can't openly be together whether it be public or private, I love every mishap, event, and adventure of this relationship. :D ..So I didn't take a picture today. Here's a picture of the post I'm typing right now. XD

Sure, My Birthday Is Coming Up, What About It?

WOOO 2 more days until my birthday! haha.. Eh. I'm not really doing anything for it, but I guess whatever happens happens. Hrm..whats today..Monday.. pretty good day.. I think that knowing that this week is going to be short made today go by quickly. I'm really trying to get back into the habit of actually doing my homework and paying attention in class. I'll get back into it..I hope.

Hyper-Clothism

So I kind of got hyper tonight, while trying on a few new clothes. I went to the mall this afternoon with my parents, and stocked up on earrings, necklaces, and leggings :D There was this one necklace with a sparrow on it that I have been looking for- for such a long while now. I think it's one of the most beautiful ones I've ever seen and lone behold [<-I hope I used that phrase right], I found it at the store Icing! What even better is that it came in four different colors and I just couldn't choose! haha So anyways, I came home and there I was trying on new leggings with new hot, sexy [haha] heels and mixing up some outfits! I just got really hyper and got into a little skip every now and then and I changed clothes. Hrmm..I really hope an opportunity comes up soon, so I can where 'em :D

ALGEBRA DOS!

ALGEBRA FINALLY CLICKED TONIGHT. So since around 9:00PM tonight, I've been working on a worksheet that I know finally understand. I haven't been paying attentino in class lately, so I've really been lost. All it took me was to YouTube a good lecture on 3 Linear Equations With 3 Variables. I'm so glad I understand now.. Hrm..today the band had Tag Day. I was at Plaza Bakery with Kenneth, Jaelynn, and Ana. We had a good amount of fun, minus the fact that we got really lazy with begging for money. About half way through, we put the collection container down and just stopped asking. We applied make-up onto Kenneth which we are all really upset that he ran into the bathroom to wash off. Afterwards, we all just chilled at Jaelynn's and hung out with her dog, Tofu. One of the cutest things in the world :)

So Strongly

I've given you a part of me today that I can say does not bother me. I'm so glad we finally got our Friday..Although it started off almost wasted, we came back to the reality of things; at least I did. My daze can solely be blamed on a huge realization I had in the past week or so. I'm really beginning to get the concept under my belt that I'm in love with you. I really didn't imagine us here, now with how we are; let alone we both agree that we didn't see this relationship coming. I said I'm scared because I've never felt so strongly about someone- not even myself! It is not so much fear as it is me being left in awe, trying to comprehend how lucky I must be to have you. I am still left in awe, how my first, true relationship is what I've been waiting for all along. You say you are finally at the point where you can't stand to be without me; I can't even stand to be a room away for what only is an hour. To me, that hour feels like a compilation of 60 long minutes- each minute lasts a lifetime. With new realizations at hand and everything from today- I'm not complaining. Not at all. Oh, and we wrote in our A Separate Peace novels :D

Impatience

My impatience is at its absolute maximum tonight. I am on the brink of insanity, trying to wait for tomorrow afternoon to come! Not much can highlight my day other than it being the first day of Jazz Band. I'm still getting used to certain environments, still being around certain people. Honestly, my worries have settled done and its not so much on my mind anymore. I'm growing madly in love with you more and more each day to care about other people getting in the way. I'm so glad you can read my mind and eyes..even when its not for the best reasons. You know something is wrong and as much as I would ever want to hide it, there's no point. You will eventually catch on and figure it out. I love when you can tell how happy I am, too because sometimes I am beyond words; the only thing that can convey to you how I feel are my eyes. :)

Oh and look, Jacob #2 likes to sleep in class! hahaha

Crazy Either Way

So as today explains to us..we are both getting to the point where we can't possibly be without the other. I was stuck in a leadership meeting from 3PM as you sat outside. The entire time I was out there, I would look back at the doors, hoping the leadership meeting would end soon. As it turns out, our unfortunate luck dragged the meeting until 4:20PM. Was the meeting relevent? Yes. Did I still want to leave? Yes. We can't even last an hour with a wall inbetween us. We are a pair of crazy people, huh? I could care less because I am honestly falling deeper and deeper in love with you. =] I'm going crazy either way. I eventually got you to myself after the meeting, skipping the fact that we were watching the competition video from All-States. I just needed to be with you and that was all that mattered. I'm so glad I got 20 minutes with you because those 20 minutes are what kept me sane tonight. :)

Level Up

Hrmm..today was pretty interesting. Exploring this new level in our relationship with you is turning out to be quite fun. :) We sat in the staircase probably for a good 2 hours, letting the day go by and we stood still. I regret nothing, and love you even more with every step we take. Is it Friday yet?? No? How about Wednesday? lmao XD Oh, about the picture.. after I got picked up from the high school, I went went my parents on a mass shopping spree at Kohl's! We literally spent over $300 on a bunch of things. I got me some nice heels, bras, and two plaid flannel shirts. woo hoo! :D

My Normal

My voice was completely shot today. All throughout school, I refused to talk and reverted to just sitting there without a word. When I tried to speak, my words came out in a tone that was too high to even be noticed. Trying to be louder is just a silly option. I 've gone through so many remedies in the past two days, and my voice has only gotten slightly better. I have drank many warm cups of ginger-ale, gargled vinegar, water, and salt, taken a nebulizer, and eaten cough drops. I really don't feel sick at all; sometimes I forgot that I have no voice. So when I open my mouth to speak, I believe that it will be okay. In reality, my voice barely makes it out with a squeek. Eh. I just want to sound my normal again. -.-'

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

So there was this one point last year where my mom's voice was completely shot..she couldn't talk at all! and when she did, it was high-pitched, loud, and squeeky, and annoying. Wellllll *drumroll* ...I'm her now. >.> My voice, as of right now, is absolutely, completely shot. Every word that attempts to come out of my mouth hits a high note and stays there until I close my mouth again. Earlier this morning, I just thought it was funny because I could still kind of talk. Now, I just want to rip my voicebox out. I'm not sure how I got this way. For the past few days, I've been waking up with a raspy voice, but it would eventually go away. I would say it's because I cheered so much at All-States the night before, but I didn't even cheer that much. This morning, I woke up and came to the high school for a damned parade we had to do. Everyone I talked to thought my voice was horrible; I even got told to shut up and just stop talking a couple times. haha. I just gargled a glass of warm water, vinegar, and salt, advised by the Reyeses. I also drank two glasses of warm ginger ale. Eh. I sound like a 50-year-old smoker. I want my normal voice back! lol Look- Jaelynn's puppy pooped in front of us, in her room. eww.. lol and yes, there is a bathroom pad for that purpose.

Done

I'm so glad the season is over. We got 4th..Nutley dominated, but we really shouldnt fret because we actually had a good show. The guard came in 2nd place with a difference of .2 points. When I think about it, the guard has had a really good season, placement-wise as a separate section.