Forgive And Forget? Life Is Good

Today has gone well, that is the greatest thing I can say. Though I have not spoken or talked to you ever since yesterday afternoon, I pushed it aside for today. At Deejay's house we had a lot of fun just chilling out and swimming in the pool. Goodness, the burgers there were delicious!! There is the ideal of forgiving and forgetting about something that works out. When you arrived, I was so shocked to get a kiss. I honestly thought you were going to say your greeting and sit right down as we watched TV. Yesterday didn't even get mentioned until we were alone as we tried to get the basement bathroom light to work. We hugged and you questioned how my heart was. I answered honestly with a "Better". It is true that my heart is always better when I'm with you, without a doubt. I asked you the same question in return, receiving the same answer. Then, you proceeded to mention, "Let's just forget about yesterday, okay?" No questions asked, I agreed. The afternoon was going good the way it was, so why would we alter that? I have finally come to realize that the Forgive&Forget method can be good sometimes. I'm the person who hates ignoring problems, so I always tackle them head-on. Then again, it saves less trouble by just moving on. Photo is of Jae and Deejay playing with the little kids. They were cute :D

Dorney Park, Haay!!

As the professional critic that I am, I rated today an 8 out of 10. We went to Dorney today for a majority of the whole music dept. I can't believe I almost woke up late! Actually, I woke up at 7:03AM and assumed I had a bit more time to get up, so I dreamt on. Yeah, I ended up not waking up until 7:36AM, freaking out a little. I got to school on time, all prepared in my shorts and top. On the way to Dorney, I sat with you and spent that time well. Alo and Joriz sat in front of us which made it a bit funner. Boy were we starving and eager to pee on that bus ride!! When we got to the competition location, I felt so bad for him because the place was basically a large Christian building. The performances were in the auditorium, made purposely for sermons and Sundays.He didn't feel comfortable and it seemed as if each new room got worse and worse. We got superior, but I think the judges were lame. If the Orchestra can get an excellent in rating, you know something is wrong! When we got to Dorney, the unestablished groups unofficially became established. Unfortunately, we did not go with the typically group including Ana, Roland, and Jaelynn, but we ended up just going with Alo and Joriz. I won't deny that it phased me a little to have been away from my close friends and those who I am always with, but change is happening and I should accept it as it comes. They will always be close to me in heart, but I don't exactly have these opportunities with him. I can't exactly spend any given whole day holding hands in public or with my arm around your waist and yours around my shoulders. Breaking from the group is just something that happened, though. I guess I'll understand that we don't have to always be together, even though I may feel guilty otherwise. So we spent our beautiful day with Alo and Joriz! First thing we did was GET SOME FOOD!! Goodness, we were starving like savages! We ended up getting the (of course) over-priced 16" pizza and (of course) $7.99 souvenir cup as our drink. After eating, the first thing we went in line for was the Thunder somethingsomething. It was a log ride, that got us just a bit wet. Then we went on the Congo Rapids, which got us DRENCHED. It was so hilarious! Dude, even now as I write this, I'm and still a bit damp, but just about dry. The sun wasn't exactly out to dry us off in a split second, but that's okay. We took a bunch of photos, which made me very happy. :) There were a lot of things I've always wanted to do with you and taking photobooth photos was one of them - which is now accomplished! I loved how the came out, too! Ahh, for all the rides we went on, I let my wierd self shine, glisten, and glow! I didn't find any of the rides too scary, but I still screamed at the top of my lungs - even when we weren't moving!!! :D It felt so good to openly be with you and not give a rat's ass about what other people see because it's not like I will see them tomorrow or again on another day in my life. Today was too good to let any arguments phase us, so I didn't let it. Man.. and last check-in was at 7:45PM and we were late. Legitimately, we believes we were okay and safe if Alo and Joriz went to check in for us while we went to get ice cream. Unfortunately that wasn't the case and we have detention every day next week. Wamp. Oh well, at least you made the effort to get us out of the predicament, and I love you for it. Today was amazing between me and you. I got to kiss you whenever I wanted, whereever I pleased! Phtos are from the photobooth and bus ride. I love you I love you I love you. I am definitely going to make the best of the rest of school and summer that we have together. I love you always ♥

I'm Fighting For It

Life undoubtedly brings changes, but they aren't necessarily good ones. These are more or less additional challenges for us to get through. It's kind of ironic because I had just finally figured out how to control my emotions and now it seems as if that won't be necessary some time from now. Then again, changes are constantly happening. It's not like one change happens and the rest of your life is ruined. Like a domino affect, other changes will take on after that, and maybe we will find ourselves in a position better than where we think we'll be in. I promise. I will pray to god every night starting tonight that we will have our time. "I am so set on the idea that one day we will have it all." Photo is of us. You are my everything, my world. There is no such thing as a life without you.

My Self-Confidence Feels Strong Than Ever

So I could start off with the greatest accomplishment of tonight, but they way my heart feels from the last events of tonight brought me back to 6 months ago. After the Talent Show, we walked to Wendy's with Julian. There was no awkwardness and I was with you. There was one point where you put your arm around me and we continued to walk and I felt..safe and loved. Then, when I gave you a ride home, I leaned into the nook of your neck the entire time. Just that alone had me in my happiest place - funniest thing: it's not in my mind, as the saying goes. You are real. We are real. This love is my happiest place. Then, as soon as your head leaned in towards mine and we kissed, nostalgia could have knocked me off my seat. The feeling of sitting so close to you and share kisses where each made my cheeks warm up to your love (no embarrassment, no nothing) brought me back to that one, single time we went to the movies. "Except we weren't this close," you said. There was no chair arm between us; we were so godly close.

Now onto tonight itself. I can't believe it. I did the Talent Show. I feel like this is definitely one of my greatest accomplishments because in a nutshell, I destroyed something that I first joined with hesitation. Being a beginner at doing any choreo, I learned the entire show in a matter of four days! It wasn't that I just learned it either. I was able to move with my own body with confidence. I knew what I was doing and I didn't let the nervousness of being on stage try to ruin it. As I was told, it was good but not as good as our previous rehearsal. I honestly don't mind because hey, I'm new and we are all really proud of ourselves! Being nervous is something understand and I know that from experience. I really want to get more into dancing because hey, I did it when I was 8 and was good. There is no legitimate reason for me to not pick it back up! My self-confidence has gone from an 80 to a 90 which means just about everything to me. I really want to keep dancing, no lie. Photo ain't exactly a pretty picture. It is just something I took while lying on the table after we practiced a little in the auditorium. Boy was it hot in there!

CLICK FOR VIDEO! :D

You Are Mine And That Is All that Matters

Being too open in a relationship can bite you in the butt. There's a point where you're telling too much of everything or I don't say anything. Unfortunately, all I have been doing is complaining on and on about jealousy and little problems here and there. Today you guys had practice for Battle of the Classes, and I just drifted around with other people. I started learning choreo for another group for the Talent show, so who knows, maybe I will do it. It is hard to keep composure with the feelings I tend to feel. You told me that I'm letting these emotions take over and ruin our relationship. The idea is yes, I do get jealous, but no, I don't think you'll cheat on me. It's set in the back of my mind that you won't, but there was this one thing next to jealousy that stood alongside it. I saw you happy in a conversation with her and it made me feel like I couldn't accomplish that with you. I have brought all of our arguments to life basically and caused much stress for you and I. The whole time, I started ranting to Rey, Greg, and Kim just because I needed to let it out. Finally, your practice was over, and I came over. Composure, composure, composure. I lost it as I stood there with my forehead against yours. We got some kind of privacy in the chorus room, with the occasional KENNETH passing by, haha. I know I keep trying and failing, but that doesn't mean I will stop trying. Eventually feelings were better in a sense, being able to talk about it, and overtime was ours. It was already past 5PM and you probably should have been home, but I kept you for about another hour. Though you got yelled at when you got home, I don't regret it. <3 You gave me a wedgie D: Photo is of me working on Chemistry outlines tonight.

Calimed As Ours

So I know that you say many of my blog posts have not been positive lately. Well I am sure that today was a very good one. Before jazz band, we spent like 15 minutes in our staircase. I feel like we have every right to claim it as ours because we havent so many memories there! Ahh, this afternoon I also made you cam-whore with me for a while, experimenting with silly poses and such. Photo is of my favorite from today. :)

Live By Quotation

"I want to be able to keep you -us- as happy as we were when you first asked me out"

I never want to be the one to upset you and ruin a day.. But I did also promise to always be open with how I feel, despite how minute or grand the emotion turns out to be. My promise has worked out for better and for worse in separate occasions. Today just upset me so much. I haven't exactly told you in person, but you will probably read this.. Well I was so upset because last week was by far one of the worst weeks. I wanted last week to end so badly because I wanted to forget it a look forward to a better week: this week. I was pulled so far aback from my optimism this afternoon that I just became a bitter person. All I want to do is relax with you alone for a given hour or so. I haven't really been given that opportunity except Friday.. I am stil waiting for that day's opportunity where I get to just lay with you and listen to our breathing and heartbeats. I am technically still upset, but I really want to live up to the quote. I am going to try harder to look on the brighter side of things. You have taken over my heart and priorities. Your happiness is mine, too and I want to maintain stability there. How you have been dealing with me for 5 months - I do not know. I just know that I never want to imagine a life without you. Photo is of the Target Bunny beause I went there tonight. haha

What Shame? None

So we walked the way with Joe and Francis, and I fell on my ass. -_-' Thank god they didn't see, but the Dominican eventually helped me up. We joked around the whole way: he tried to push me into puddles and I would run ahead. It was warned that the ground was slippery. The slush was already seeping through my boots. I guess I really should've seen it coming, but oh well haha.. We quickly made our way back to his house [as "quick" as we really could be].. and I was lent some dry clothes. Jacob and Francis began to play Halo and COD as me and Joe went on FB. It was actually fun taking my shots at video games, though I was failing. The Dominican's mama came home around 4:33PM, MUCH earlier than usual. @.@ Thank god we were with other people! It was a good day to prove that we can still hang out with others and have somewhat a good time. Then, his father came home. I won't deny that I freaked out when his parents came home because I was naturally nervous.. With all that nerve, I tried to get my ride home. Neither of my siblings were available and I was more mad at my brother. I asked him ahead of time for a ride and he said okay. I call him an hour later and he's still at work. That aggrivated me and my last resort was calling my parents. I can't stand the fact that they don't understand this relationship I'm in...or the rest of the world and how it's changed. Not every guy wants to get in your pants. What "shame" am I supposed to have in hanging out with my best friend, my love? He's not just a boyfriend. This isn't the 80's. I drew tonight to relieve some stress. The drawing's crap. sorry.

Apologetic For The Silly Things

So the grandparents are now gone. I came home to find the cousins sitting in the kitchen for dinner. They have been around more often since the grandparents have been around. It was an interesting evening. We watched TV and laughed around. Around 6:30 my entire family went to the Newark airport to drop them off. It is sad yes, but I can only pray that they have a safe trip. Today jealousy didn't really, really get to me. I more or less accepted what happened and just asked if it did. I guess..mentioning any time is just annoying now, and I do apologize for that. I don't know what happened today..I think I ruined the mood with that because then on, I didn't feel so into it. I promise to stop. I trust you with all of my heart- I really do. Hrmm.. As for other topics, the scare we put ourselves in is not safe at all. I'm honestly just looking forward to tomorrow. It's Friday :D Photo's of Olga driving!!! She gave me a ride home- thanks Olga! LOL It's only her second time driving with her official license.

He's Like A Kid Again

And so we sang "Happy Birthday to youuuu!!" to him. My father turned 54 today. Daaaaang big number! Anyways, the entire morning, my Lola was cooking and my parents went out for groceries. I can recall, several times, my mom called to me as I slept on the couch to wake up and clean. I really didn't want to. I was actually sleeping nicely..not amazing, but better than usual. Finally, I came to, and got down to business. I kind of cleaned and eventually got the job done. Cousins came over and we all celebrated a lunch fiasco. My sister's boyfriend was here too.. the only non-Asian. haha It's so cute seeing my father seem like a kid again. I mean, he was celebrating a birthday with his parents and basically everyone he loves. The only thing missing was his favorite dessert - a Durian shake :D Photo's of celebration. I'm a fail photographer. I missed the candle blowout.

By God's Greatest Blessing

122 days is the equivalent of 4 months. I have been with you for four months today. I'm so happy we had a good day. A day free from problems and just overcame a resolution. I really wish I just could have spent this day with you in person. On any given day of the week, I can spend it with you, but today just feels like a bit more. I'm not one for flaunting dates, but four months ago, I had my first kiss. And by god's greatest blessing, it was with you. Today we mostly webcammed and I thought your nephew was so adorable. I text you all day like usual, and my love for it has not shifted at all. To finally say "4 months" makes me happy. The facts finally make sense with how I truly feel. Last month I kept debating on how I feel like we've been together for 4 or 5 months; I would literally stop and think about it. I like where we are, and I pray that it doesn't change. I pray that we are more than just months, I love you. Photo's of webcammin' :)

And Still, I Am in Awe

We can end our nights on good nots and bad ones. I won't say that last night was a bad one, but it was unnecessary. The problem didn't need to occur, but it arose anyway. I'm just glad that our relationship has the ability to make-up pretty fast. I refuse to let days go by with a stupid arguement still lingering. Let alone, I can't even sleep through a single night with such a heavy heart. From a bad night, we have travelled into the next night having such a heart-felt conversation. I feel like saving every message you've sent in the last two hours. Jesus, I don't understand how I've lucked out so well to find you..to find us. And still, I am in awe. Filler photo: I woke up at 1PM this morning and didn't go to church, so I had nothing to take a pic of except this lol

Breathless in the Back

How can I even begin to describe tonight, when it leaves me breathless just thinking about it? We had our first [formal] date tonight and the feeling of being wrapped under you arm for 1 hour and 50 min. is outstanding. Our ticket stubs say that we saw New Moon, but our eyes remember the film "Brothers". lol yay rated R..it was kind of funny how we just walked into it, even thgouh it was the first door after the ticket ripper. Its better to go straight in rather than take the second to hesistate. haha I am such a bad influence on you..so sorry! So there we were in the very to row rnjoying the awkwardness of Toby McGuire play a marine. The every so often kisses we shared throughout the movie were amazing, yet me made me nervous because we were around so many people. Anyone in the row in front of us could turn around and see! Each single kiss left me breathless; the second saved it. Towards the end of the moviem there was one point where I didn't want to stop; the moment was great, but the theatre doesn't allow enough for us to continue lol. I love you so much. "Thirsty? What some of this slushie?" Look, Julie tried to braid Armando's hair this perning in English. XD Him and his Simoan hair..

Not In The Mood

Day 2 didn't trail off as gorgeously as yesterday did. I was waiting for the the whole day to pass so I could see you, but around period 6 Lunch, I discovered that you weren't up to par. She found out and became very, very pissed off. I was actually having a decent day, but to find out that you're upset makes me feel similarly. The end of school finally came around and I found out she was crying a lot. >.> It made me feel bad, but when we met up in the band room, my whole day lit up again. I was with you and that was one of the only things that mattered. Still to this day, texting you brings me such good feelings inside that I can almost tell that you feel too. [other than the fact that you've told me XD] It always ends my nights nicely, and allows me to sleep good. :) Oh, LOL according to the picture, we fit Jaelynn into one of the top lockers in the band room :D