A Day Well Spent

So today was pretty fun, not gonna lie. It was a half-day and I basically didn't go to any of my classes and just stayed in the band room from third period on to the next day. We played ninja a lot and just chilled out. I also got my schedule for next year changed which was very relieving. Instead of accepting the stress of trying to learn by myself in Physics H, I'm just going to join everyone in AP Chem where I will feel much more comfortable! :D Talking to Mr. Doldi today felt really good and I felt so comfortable in their classroom. It's where I belong haha just kidding. After school, I fell into that dilemma I fell into ever so often. I set my mind for the day to be with him, but he had to go home. That's where I feel like the day ends for me and that is part of the reason of my problems. I can't dwell on the idea that if I can't hang out with him, my day is done. Those days are the perfect opportunity to hang out with others. At first I asked Ana, but she had a party to go to. Then, I thought of Aud, and I became so happy. I haven't hung out with her in so long and this was a great opportunity! We chilled at her house for the afternoon, and even Roland showed up! At first, me and her watched a bunch of weird-ass videos on Youtube about ass-to-face and dick-slamming "dances". Then, Roland came over and we got to watch this Korean Horror movie called Death Bell. It was alright, except I began to grow tired and started dozing off. After the movie, we played [I failed] at Ping-Pong outside. At the end of it, Roland beat Audrey in their match and we just shouldn't discuss mine. haha We went back inside because we were getting eaten alive by mosquitoes!! After a little while of chilling by the piano and listening to me fail at singing also, I got a ride from Roland home. I look back on it and am finally happy to say I had a well-spent afternoon despite my normal mindset. Tonight I began to watch my old DVD of Spirited Away, but grew tired once again. I'm off to take a nap soon. Photo is of Ping-Pong :D

My Self-Confidence Feels Strong Than Ever

So I could start off with the greatest accomplishment of tonight, but they way my heart feels from the last events of tonight brought me back to 6 months ago. After the Talent Show, we walked to Wendy's with Julian. There was no awkwardness and I was with you. There was one point where you put your arm around me and we continued to walk and I felt..safe and loved. Then, when I gave you a ride home, I leaned into the nook of your neck the entire time. Just that alone had me in my happiest place - funniest thing: it's not in my mind, as the saying goes. You are real. We are real. This love is my happiest place. Then, as soon as your head leaned in towards mine and we kissed, nostalgia could have knocked me off my seat. The feeling of sitting so close to you and share kisses where each made my cheeks warm up to your love (no embarrassment, no nothing) brought me back to that one, single time we went to the movies. "Except we weren't this close," you said. There was no chair arm between us; we were so godly close.

Now onto tonight itself. I can't believe it. I did the Talent Show. I feel like this is definitely one of my greatest accomplishments because in a nutshell, I destroyed something that I first joined with hesitation. Being a beginner at doing any choreo, I learned the entire show in a matter of four days! It wasn't that I just learned it either. I was able to move with my own body with confidence. I knew what I was doing and I didn't let the nervousness of being on stage try to ruin it. As I was told, it was good but not as good as our previous rehearsal. I honestly don't mind because hey, I'm new and we are all really proud of ourselves! Being nervous is something understand and I know that from experience. I really want to get more into dancing because hey, I did it when I was 8 and was good. There is no legitimate reason for me to not pick it back up! My self-confidence has gone from an 80 to a 90 which means just about everything to me. I really want to keep dancing, no lie. Photo ain't exactly a pretty picture. It is just something I took while lying on the table after we practiced a little in the auditorium. Boy was it hot in there!

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Battle Of The Classes

Today was like the first step for man on the moon. Just kidding. Today definitely felt like a first step. After school, we went to Deejay's house to watch them rehearse for battle of the classes. The Freshies definitely have a good act going for them. The important step in my eyes was the fact that Ana and Jacob hung out together somewhat in the same group. It wasn't really awkward at all. No hard feelings or anything. They don't realize it, but they do have things in common. It made me happy to see that, it really did. Today is our 7th monthary and it should have been a good day and it was for the most part. It sucks that we couldn't really spend the day with eachother, but I'll get what I can. It's 12:29AM and I think I already fucked up. I'm this douche who doesn't always listen. Photo is of a condom my brother openly leaves on the computer table. ew.

Music Speaks!

I think part of what I've been missing in life that been putting me so down is enjoying the rest of it. Tonight proved that to me as I chilled at Music Speaks with Ana, DJ, and Emily. I absolutely love the part of life that I've been lacking for 16 years, but I can't let go of the happiness of what kept me together all along. BUT DAAAYUUUM.. Music Speaks was good! :) AJ Raf and JR Aquino were amazingg! It was funyn how DJ was "telepathically" communicating with AJ during the show and what songs he should play.. Earlier in the day was pretty fun, too. Before we got inside the cafeteria, we messed around with Ana's uke, WHICH SHE GOT SIGNED BY AJ ;D Other guys had ukes and we tried to get them all to "jam", but that failed. It was sad because we found "the one" for Ana! They wore similar shirts, and had similar ukes, and they were just meant for eachother! Oh, and DJ peed with JR LOL

Hrmm..I sat behind a couple where the guy had his arm around her the whole time, and it made me want that.. More or less, it just made me miss him and wish I could have that kind of fun with him AND my friends..

Listening to AJ and JR's songs, I really looked into some of the songs and they got to me.. they had so much truth in their words and I was sort of able to relate. :) Good day Good Day.. Photo's of Ana's signed UKE! WOOT