"We Could Virtually Have Had A Baby!"

Wow, we could have virtually had a baby in the amount of time we've been dating. As of today, we make 9 months - 9 months I would never want stripped from my mind. No matter what plans needed to be arranged, I know that I needed to be with you. If you couldn't come over, I would willingly bike there and find somewhere to chill - no questions asked. As it turned out, you came over :) I met you half-way here on bike, while you rode yours. Eh, I actually left too late that "half" wasn't exactly relative to it's measured distance. Although our day started a little later because both of us were too tired to get up, we still had our day. Today was also the day I was so eager to make up yesterday's failure in. You were able to tell that I had a little bit a lottabit of tension, trying to make sure I didn't ruin today. Things were a little off at first because I thought about yesterday, but I snapped out of the thought as we began to play video games. I told you the other day that you are so many firsts in my life - both relationship wise and just in general. That involves video games. You know that I freak out and spazz with any kind of RPGs because I never was used to playing them. Now, you are introducing me to them, kind of like facing my fears. I felt accomplished today with a few head shots here and there on the last bullet and amazing [unintentional] feats. Yet, we could not have any of that without any of my yelping when new enemies appear or my abrupt pausing of the game at certain parts. We laughed and laughed as we traded off missions in Drake's Fortune because we kept dying! My mind was clear from there on and your kisses felt so good. Later, we went into the kitchen and started to make crepes - that was when my tension also began to rise. My lola was just leaning against the back of a chair, staring while we cooked and I just felt super uncomfortable at the stove and pulling ingredients out. You tried to tell me to relax and that everything was fine - sorry it took me forever to cool down! x3 You held me at the shoulders with a reassuring look and gave me a few reassuring kisses. It's nothing against her, but I just feel awkward being watched. Eh. I let you taste your first crepe with Nutella filling and you liked it - that brought me a smile. Around 1PM we finally got to get comfortable on the couch and watch Fight Club on Blu-Ray. You love that movie and have been dying to show me it, as I have been dying to watch it with you. It was really good, I'm not going to lie :) I want to finished the movie with you, which will also mean another day you'll be over! I promise you: this summer can & will be ours. At 2:15PM we rode back to the other side of Belleville and just finished our morning together at Wendy's to get some real food! We had to part ways after that - you wanted to get home before yo' mama did. I can't help but think... that if you and I can afford days like this and simply feel this way for so long, then I'm ready to spend a whole lifetime with you. It's understood that you can't have your good days with out your bad ones, but right now we need to balance those days out and climb out of our hole. I'm willing to do that for you and with you. I love you so much.. like a fat boy loves cake. :) After I left, I didn't want to go home so I went to Stop&Shop to buy random things. I ended up getting this bleaching kit for some unwanted stomach hairs. -insecurity mode- Haha, I just think it'll look nice looking more bare at the beach! I can think back on today and really say that I redeemed myself for yesterday's weird phase. God, Jacob Reyes, I love you beyond words. You literally help build me into a person I'm not ashamed to call yours. As our corny romantic minds think, "Always&Forever To Infinity&Beyond" Happy 9 months, mi vida. :) Photo is of us before leaving for Wendy's.

Lost What I Cherish So Dearly

Today we had the Jazz Festival. There were a couple emotions around about. Some were old and some were new kinds of sadness. I posted a long one on Tumblr, so I'll use it here.

For a good while now, the chain-link on the necklace he gave me would always loosen. The idea to put it on a different line was in my mind, but I never set myself to do so. I thought the brown strings and ribbon kept an authentic touch to it.

After school, we walked to his house so he could change for the Jazz Festival tonight. We ran a little because we short on time, so it could have happened then. Then, we went on our way to Dunkin Donuts to get something for the bake sale during the fest. We get back to the HS and I go into the closet to change into my concert outfit. I take off my shirt and, long behold, the string is all I see, unattached. From there on, my heart dropped and I laid quiet. Distraught? I think so.

Even though it is just a necklace that a boyfriend gave, it means everything to me. It was the first loving gift I have ever received.

Despite the fact that the festival would start soon, I went on and backtracked everywhere, literally. My eyes were glued to the ground, but what made me wanted to cry was backtracking in the grass. Then the rain began to drizzle. It never ended up raining forreal, just a decent drizzle at that.

I was also breaking into a new pair of flats. Wearing them during the day was fine. They were the most comfortable pair of flats I’ve ever worn. But any pair of flats regardless can only result in blisters. I definitely got those. Before I knew the necklace went missing, I complained about walking all around in them. They hurt, most definitely. Although, when I left for the search, I had no intentions about worrying about the pain anymore. It became a petty thing, forgotten.

By the time I got back to the high school, I was full of blisters, beginning to bleed. After having my eyes glued on the floor for about an hour of searching, I lost my focus. If you have ever played Guitar Hero, there is this feeling of your vision still moving towards you like in the game. I looked up at the sky and the clouds were coming towards me. I blinked, and it happened again. I still have the string to the necklace, but no amulet.

From the day I got that necklace on our second monthary [I believe?], I have never worn another necklace in it’s place. Never. I guess tomorrow I’m back to the Sparrow necklace.

Photo is of webcam post of empty chesstt D;

Battle Of The Classes

Today was like the first step for man on the moon. Just kidding. Today definitely felt like a first step. After school, we went to Deejay's house to watch them rehearse for battle of the classes. The Freshies definitely have a good act going for them. The important step in my eyes was the fact that Ana and Jacob hung out together somewhat in the same group. It wasn't really awkward at all. No hard feelings or anything. They don't realize it, but they do have things in common. It made me happy to see that, it really did. Today is our 7th monthary and it should have been a good day and it was for the most part. It sucks that we couldn't really spend the day with eachother, but I'll get what I can. It's 12:29AM and I think I already fucked up. I'm this douche who doesn't always listen. Photo is of a condom my brother openly leaves on the computer table. ew.