"We Could Virtually Have Had A Baby!"

Wow, we could have virtually had a baby in the amount of time we've been dating. As of today, we make 9 months - 9 months I would never want stripped from my mind. No matter what plans needed to be arranged, I know that I needed to be with you. If you couldn't come over, I would willingly bike there and find somewhere to chill - no questions asked. As it turned out, you came over :) I met you half-way here on bike, while you rode yours. Eh, I actually left too late that "half" wasn't exactly relative to it's measured distance. Although our day started a little later because both of us were too tired to get up, we still had our day. Today was also the day I was so eager to make up yesterday's failure in. You were able to tell that I had a little bit a lottabit of tension, trying to make sure I didn't ruin today. Things were a little off at first because I thought about yesterday, but I snapped out of the thought as we began to play video games. I told you the other day that you are so many firsts in my life - both relationship wise and just in general. That involves video games. You know that I freak out and spazz with any kind of RPGs because I never was used to playing them. Now, you are introducing me to them, kind of like facing my fears. I felt accomplished today with a few head shots here and there on the last bullet and amazing [unintentional] feats. Yet, we could not have any of that without any of my yelping when new enemies appear or my abrupt pausing of the game at certain parts. We laughed and laughed as we traded off missions in Drake's Fortune because we kept dying! My mind was clear from there on and your kisses felt so good. Later, we went into the kitchen and started to make crepes - that was when my tension also began to rise. My lola was just leaning against the back of a chair, staring while we cooked and I just felt super uncomfortable at the stove and pulling ingredients out. You tried to tell me to relax and that everything was fine - sorry it took me forever to cool down! x3 You held me at the shoulders with a reassuring look and gave me a few reassuring kisses. It's nothing against her, but I just feel awkward being watched. Eh. I let you taste your first crepe with Nutella filling and you liked it - that brought me a smile. Around 1PM we finally got to get comfortable on the couch and watch Fight Club on Blu-Ray. You love that movie and have been dying to show me it, as I have been dying to watch it with you. It was really good, I'm not going to lie :) I want to finished the movie with you, which will also mean another day you'll be over! I promise you: this summer can & will be ours. At 2:15PM we rode back to the other side of Belleville and just finished our morning together at Wendy's to get some real food! We had to part ways after that - you wanted to get home before yo' mama did. I can't help but think... that if you and I can afford days like this and simply feel this way for so long, then I'm ready to spend a whole lifetime with you. It's understood that you can't have your good days with out your bad ones, but right now we need to balance those days out and climb out of our hole. I'm willing to do that for you and with you. I love you so much.. like a fat boy loves cake. :) After I left, I didn't want to go home so I went to Stop&Shop to buy random things. I ended up getting this bleaching kit for some unwanted stomach hairs. -insecurity mode- Haha, I just think it'll look nice looking more bare at the beach! I can think back on today and really say that I redeemed myself for yesterday's weird phase. God, Jacob Reyes, I love you beyond words. You literally help build me into a person I'm not ashamed to call yours. As our corny romantic minds think, "Always&Forever To Infinity&Beyond" Happy 9 months, mi vida. :) Photo is of us before leaving for Wendy's.

Damp Blankets And Self-Disappointment

I'm a little disappointed in myself today, not going to lie. Day two of some kind of revival for us and my efforts weren't as solid as planned. This morning I woke up and finally got to ride to his house without my mother bitching. I actually rode there with my sister and the route isn't too bad. When we left, I planned on wearing the oh-so-important helmet half way down the street and then removing it. At my checkpoint, I looked back and she was still standing at the side walk. Damnit. I rode all the way to the end of the block and turned the corner to do so. Finally. We got to his house and waited for him to get dressed and come out. When he did, we made our way to the HS track. We rode around a few times and then my sister left because she had a class at noon. After she left, we kind of grew lethargic. Quickly, too. We laid on the new front part of the stadium, where it was like..cinder blocks high enough to sit on and then cement from the butt up carved at an angle. The picture should make a seat like image in your mind. [Sorry if I'm not exactly being the greatest visualizer tonight.] With not much else to do, we laid there and soaked up the sun. Around 11:30AM, we decided to move on with plans to just lay in the park. I was prepared with blankets. We stopped by the 7-11 and got food and whatnot so our stomachs were happy. I can't help but admit that the whole time, I didn't want to do as much talking as we did. I just wanted to soak up the moments by doing things like kissing or hugging, or napping together. I tried to go in for kisses various time or hint at it, but they only lasted so long. I understand - public is always risky. For that late understanding in today, I am disappointed in myself. I kept wishing for these other things in the moments I had with you - things more passionate when instead, we could have had greater conversations. I didn't really engage myself in the conversations we were having because all I wanted to do was kiss you. It was my mistake, but I'm only glad we didn't end bitterly because we can't afford that. We had to part ways at 1PM and yes, I was sad but I could only frown so much. We parted ways and I continued with this new life initiative. I texted Ana to see if she was home because I know that she's one person I need to get back well into my life after pushing away. I came over to only stop by, but ended up staying until around 7PM It was good for the most part. Deejay and Jae came over and it was really great to be around these people I haven't seen in so long. Jesus, I haven't seen Jae for a while either! We watched Degrassi, order Chinese food, and even discussed a poster on her wall about drunk characters! Today was decent, even with the self-disappointment. Tomorrow, I'm praying, will be amazing. It's 9 months, after all. Photo is of us at the track. I'm extra chinky when it's sunny.

We'll Get There, Don't Worry

Sometimes it gets so hard trying to reflect back on your day at 12:43AM I suppose today was good. For the part that I spent my afternoon with you, yes ofcourse it was good :) There was this verry romantic part where I was about to leave and I kind of hesitated to turn around..I kind of still wanted one last good-bye kiss. I wasn't sure so I just turned around to start walking. As soon as I turned around, you yelled out, "Wait!" I turned around to look at you and I saw the same thing in your eyes. I ran back towards you and got that last final kiss before I was on my way. On another note, I have come to terms today with my friends and giving the most sincere apologies that they deserve. I'm still working on this balanced mix between the important aspects of my life, and I honestly believe we can get through this. :)