Lost What I Cherish So Dearly

Today we had the Jazz Festival. There were a couple emotions around about. Some were old and some were new kinds of sadness. I posted a long one on Tumblr, so I'll use it here.

For a good while now, the chain-link on the necklace he gave me would always loosen. The idea to put it on a different line was in my mind, but I never set myself to do so. I thought the brown strings and ribbon kept an authentic touch to it.

After school, we walked to his house so he could change for the Jazz Festival tonight. We ran a little because we short on time, so it could have happened then. Then, we went on our way to Dunkin Donuts to get something for the bake sale during the fest. We get back to the HS and I go into the closet to change into my concert outfit. I take off my shirt and, long behold, the string is all I see, unattached. From there on, my heart dropped and I laid quiet. Distraught? I think so.

Even though it is just a necklace that a boyfriend gave, it means everything to me. It was the first loving gift I have ever received.

Despite the fact that the festival would start soon, I went on and backtracked everywhere, literally. My eyes were glued to the ground, but what made me wanted to cry was backtracking in the grass. Then the rain began to drizzle. It never ended up raining forreal, just a decent drizzle at that.

I was also breaking into a new pair of flats. Wearing them during the day was fine. They were the most comfortable pair of flats I’ve ever worn. But any pair of flats regardless can only result in blisters. I definitely got those. Before I knew the necklace went missing, I complained about walking all around in them. They hurt, most definitely. Although, when I left for the search, I had no intentions about worrying about the pain anymore. It became a petty thing, forgotten.

By the time I got back to the high school, I was full of blisters, beginning to bleed. After having my eyes glued on the floor for about an hour of searching, I lost my focus. If you have ever played Guitar Hero, there is this feeling of your vision still moving towards you like in the game. I looked up at the sky and the clouds were coming towards me. I blinked, and it happened again. I still have the string to the necklace, but no amulet.

From the day I got that necklace on our second monthary [I believe?], I have never worn another necklace in it’s place. Never. I guess tomorrow I’m back to the Sparrow necklace.

Photo is of webcam post of empty chesstt D;

Mah Cousin Fer Life :)

It feels like you're not even trying right now, but whatever. Hrmm.. I look back on today and see nothing special. It's sad for me to admit that I woke up and did nothing. I kind of would rather have slep tthe whole day away. Finally being able to chat online, I was talking to the bestie about how one of these Summers I'm going to buy a plane ticket and visit him in Cali >:] We are going to roadtrip down to LA and SF and live it up! It honestly has me so excited for the time we can finally drive and jsut be our own. I haven't seen this boy for like a year from the last time he visited, but boy do I miss him so! I swear..if he was here, our hs years would be so epic. I highly believe, my emotions wouldn't be on such a rampage because he'd probably slap me silly before they did. haha Photo is of a parallel text off of Sparknotes that I printed out for Macbetha-tha.

Wakka-Wakka, Bakka-Bakka

I know that today wobbled a bit, almost tilting into a stupid argument here and there, but a kiss fixed all of that. School has been something I am so grateful for. For the fact that I get to see you a lot, I can get through the day. I'm done with arguments and stupid emotions, so whenever they're on the verge of arising, I will think back and hold myself. It's truly not worth it. I don't know what else to put for today other than..well so far we have gotten through two days. I am so excited for tomorrow because it is a half day pep-rally. After school, I plan on leaving with you, ordering some cheeseee wontoonnns [because you've never had any] and more Chinese food, be fat with you, and live in love. :3 Photo's of someone "not trying to pose", but I think otherwise. :)

Ordinary People

We all have it in us to be the nicest person we can possibly be. So why should anyone else dare judge you for your actions, or thoughts, if it is all out of common courtesy? Emotions can get in the way: jealous, anger, spite.. They can get in the way of us achieving the ultimate kind of courtesy we can. But in the end, we are all just 'ordinary' people. We can't avoid how we feel and we just have to deal with it. Life won't be the perfect happy go lucky road, but it is definitely worth it in the end.

Impatience

My impatience is at its absolute maximum tonight. I am on the brink of insanity, trying to wait for tomorrow afternoon to come! Not much can highlight my day other than it being the first day of Jazz Band. I'm still getting used to certain environments, still being around certain people. Honestly, my worries have settled done and its not so much on my mind anymore. I'm growing madly in love with you more and more each day to care about other people getting in the way. I'm so glad you can read my mind and eyes..even when its not for the best reasons. You know something is wrong and as much as I would ever want to hide it, there's no point. You will eventually catch on and figure it out. I love when you can tell how happy I am, too because sometimes I am beyond words; the only thing that can convey to you how I feel are my eyes. :)

Oh and look, Jacob #2 likes to sleep in class! hahaha