Initiative, Inspirafion Speech

This weekend HOBY solidifies some that would fluxuate in my life. Coming to a leadership thing I didn't expect much outside the box,but HOBY has taught me morals beyond leading a group of people. On the drive here i didn't have much excitement or nervousness. But surprisingly enough, as i walked up to registration there was the 'tunnel time" going where the junior/senior advisers stood on the two sides of a tunnel screaming and yelling enthusiastically for you to pass through. In the course of a weekend this program had taught me something I've lacked a consistency in. taking initiative and not just in a group o people, but in my own personal Life most especially. First of all family. Te first speaker guy talked and borrowed time and how you always should take. The chances in life. You wont always have those second or third chances. It made me want to change my ways and really give my mother the affection she deserves because honestly the thought of my mother and father dying in a car crash on the way here devastates me. I know that i have not lived our relationship as parent and daughter to the fullest. With friends, more less the guy i plan on spending the rest of my life with, i Allow us to fall in to arguments way to easily. I am going to start taking much more initiative in my life to understand- to think in his POV because if hes dead tomorrow the effect with my parents is the same. With friends, i have always had a fluctuation of being out going and then being they nervous awkward quiet loner. I hated it so much but this weekend has proven to me that hey, its okay to just walk up to someone and be friendly. From there you find something to talk about. Even though in the real world there isnt much of an understanding that we are all individuals considering egos and clicks, hoby at least proved to me that it is possible and okay to walk up t a complete stranger. I would used to second guess whether i should or shouldn't walk up to some one and miss the chance. Here i didn't have worries and plopped up a chair next to a stranger. I have been inspired to radiate my new confidence even starting tonight with the dance. I took a really nervous stiff tense boy on the floor and began to teach him. I wanted to give him the same confidence i have gotten and to not care what others think. I got him to take off the awkward blazer he wore and un tuck his button down shirt and dance told him how to move his feet and extend his arms. By the end of the night i saw him dancing with other people :) i felt good about myself. And since i i said talkk be like that i wanted to help some one out too. I have been taking my initiative with a y steps including the decision to stand up and talk to you guys like this. This weekend has taught my something I've been inconsistent with and I'm so thankful for that opportunity. Thanks guys, i love you all.X

Today was so much betterthan yesterday. There were less lectures and more activities that had us up an about. At one point i. Ecame pissed off just for fact that i had three catty girls in my group. There are nice but theres a thi g about thrm that irrotates me. A click could easily form bu after a while i did t care. You make the best of your night and not care what peopl thiml. Do that anr youre set for life. The dance was good. Frankly i have my much more people tonight than the past tep days sitting around. I walked up to people and started dancing with people (cleanly) . Then when i got tired i sat with strangers and had the greatest conversations about boyfriends/ girlfriends an phones . They are the coolest people ive met so far. They all at out because they had a boyfriend or gf but i danced anyway. Just cus i know i cant "dance like that" any wY amd wouldmt if the oppprtu ity came up. I have my man :) photo is of a cup i drew on while listening to during a presentation. The box i made too haha

My Self-Confidence Feels Strong Than Ever

So I could start off with the greatest accomplishment of tonight, but they way my heart feels from the last events of tonight brought me back to 6 months ago. After the Talent Show, we walked to Wendy's with Julian. There was no awkwardness and I was with you. There was one point where you put your arm around me and we continued to walk and I felt..safe and loved. Then, when I gave you a ride home, I leaned into the nook of your neck the entire time. Just that alone had me in my happiest place - funniest thing: it's not in my mind, as the saying goes. You are real. We are real. This love is my happiest place. Then, as soon as your head leaned in towards mine and we kissed, nostalgia could have knocked me off my seat. The feeling of sitting so close to you and share kisses where each made my cheeks warm up to your love (no embarrassment, no nothing) brought me back to that one, single time we went to the movies. "Except we weren't this close," you said. There was no chair arm between us; we were so godly close.

Now onto tonight itself. I can't believe it. I did the Talent Show. I feel like this is definitely one of my greatest accomplishments because in a nutshell, I destroyed something that I first joined with hesitation. Being a beginner at doing any choreo, I learned the entire show in a matter of four days! It wasn't that I just learned it either. I was able to move with my own body with confidence. I knew what I was doing and I didn't let the nervousness of being on stage try to ruin it. As I was told, it was good but not as good as our previous rehearsal. I honestly don't mind because hey, I'm new and we are all really proud of ourselves! Being nervous is something understand and I know that from experience. I really want to get more into dancing because hey, I did it when I was 8 and was good. There is no legitimate reason for me to not pick it back up! My self-confidence has gone from an 80 to a 90 which means just about everything to me. I really want to keep dancing, no lie. Photo ain't exactly a pretty picture. It is just something I took while lying on the table after we practiced a little in the auditorium. Boy was it hot in there!

CLICK FOR VIDEO! :D

My Eyes Won't Stay Open!

Holly crap I'm so tired! I tried to do my two Chapter outlines, but I'm way too tired to do this right now. Tonight was Battle of the Classes which was great. I'm pretty sure that the Freshmen won. Then, after that, we went back to Jamie's again to work on the choreo. At first there was A LOT of stress about getting everything done by tomorrow because frankly, TOMORROW IS THE NIGHT. The show is tomorrow night and I really think we'll be between descent and good. I've never expected myself to be as confident with how I dance now and I hope it is conveyed through my moves on stage! Photo is of Roland working at his best effort at Jamie's. Yea, just kidding :D He is actually amazing at making choreo, I'm pretty jealous ahah

This Week Has GOT To End!!

Happy Hump Day! Part of me is glad that it's Wednesday because that means we are that much closer to the weekend- to some kind of rest. The stresses of this week can get pretty unbearable if you can't organize yourself. I'm at the point where I'm kind of giving up as work also starts to die down a little. Today we had Talent Show rehearsal which was dang busy. We finally got our mix in which I pulled my ass through the night in order to make, and more choreo was made today. Now that I think about it, we have most of our 3 minutes done! I'm also learning to realize that hey, I might actually be able to dance! I'm really excited and hopefully for what we can pull together by tomorrow. It's going to be a crazy night. Photo is Sean while we chilled back stage. :D

So..It's Almost 4AM.

The nervousness in today kind of felt like when we first started going out. I was a nice feeling of nostalgia. Anyways, I pretty damned tired @_@ This is the first all-nighter I've pulled in a while and I'm really glad I got that iced coffee tonight! I'm glad the person who made it failed and put tooo much sugar because It's keeping me up right now. I wouldn't want to stay up so late by my own free will, at least not this week. There's too much stress involved that I would want all the Zzz's I can catch. I had to stay up to make the mix for the Talent Show Act we're doing. I'm all of a sudden in a dance crew since last Thursday, and the show is ON FRIDAY. We are still choreographing and everything, but my biggest hopes tell me that we'll turn out okay. I hope!! Photo is of a drawing I did in my study. :P

We're Just Ordinary People

I'm really proud of myself for all the progress I've gotten in learning the choreo in a video I favorited and learning a song on guitar. Unfortunately, that whole time I was progressing, my school work stayed exactly where it was. I kept saying I would start, originally at 2PM, but I didn't start until 10PM :D Nothing too great happened today, except the thought of what this week will bring. I already see it as another one of those 5 days that I want to end right now and it hasn't even begun. I have to memorize Macbeth lines for Tuesday, read Lord of the Flies, do an extra credit journal, and a Chemistry outline this week. Oh man. Photo is of the sign Adrian requested me to make :)

Dance Dance Dance - No Matter How Awkward You Look

So this whole day, I have been aspiring to learn some choreo. The best friend and I have challenged each other to a dance battle over the internet! ahah The feeling of learning and doing things right is something that always makes me feel good. I have even considered going for some of those workshops! But don't fret, I already know its not going to happen. Today I also went to the mall and Urban Outfitters with my brother. Boyyy, does that place make me happy! Urban definitely expresses my sense of style better, just not entirely. I got a pair of canvas shoes there and even though they may not last forever or end up being so comfortable, they were cheap and looked good! A lot of their shoes are actually very decent and I definitely want to go back! I haven't been going out these days, and I need to change that. The feelings are not the best staying home while talking to someone who is out and having a busy day because you realize you should be doing the same. Hopefully out next weekend! Photo is of shoes I bought! :D