Worth The Risks

So far this week is going good and we still have Dorney Park on Friday to look forward to!!! Today was an unexpected plan till about 8th period. After school, we spent the day with Joriz and Alo. When we double date, it's something honestly very comfortable. We can virtually talk to them about anything and the great part about it is that they've been there. They understand the majority of things we say or complain about. Joriz had work, so we chilled at Applegate Farm with her and we got "The Farm"!! Let's see.. 4 scoops of Graham Central Station, 4 scoops of Ice Cream Cake, 4 scoops of ButterPecan, and 4 scoops of another that I can't recall. Oh - and then 4 toppings: hot fudge, caramel, sprinkles, and cherries! :) Sooo fattening and good! We stayed until 6 and chilled out, then we went to the mall to get Joriz a phone case. It made me happy to be in public with you. Maybe I'm a nerd for wearing your sweater the whole time because it rained. :) Your kisses felt so soft and nice. I definitely feel like I'm falling in love with you like we are back in September. :) God, you make me feel so happy and it is my job to make you feel the same about me! After wards, we hit Hooters for some amazing wiinggs! ;D Tonight was your first time and my second. Unfortunately we all got into an open argument that killed the joy of the day, but I felt so happy to have had that conversation. I teared up because finally, I had a second and third opinion that didn't make me feel so wrong. Joriz was right when she said that there are so many times I always feel wrong, even with the argument possibly on my side. I have found myself finding that I have lost my credibility sometimes. Anyways, we climbed back out of that hole and continued to eat on! Goodness, I have no idea how I ate the amount I did on top of "The Farm"! I haven't eaten anything since! On the way back home, I was hoping to lie back into your arm, full, satisfied, and relaxed. Unfortunately, we could afford that. Your parents called and said they were on the way to pick you up from "ushering at the concert". I was so thankful that there was actually a concert tonight as an alibi! As soon as you got off the phone with you mother, you began to hyperventilate and I didn't know what else to do but pull you close to me and hold you tightly. Sure, I was scared, too, but your safety definitely came first. I kissed the side of your face, your temple, and in my mind, I prayed to God that you would be okay. "Everything will be okay" I promised. Our alibi was good. Thanks to Alo's driving skeeeeelz, we got back to town and right when we got to the front of the MS you parents were around the corner, so we went around back and dropped you off there. As it turned out, everything was good and you were safe. My heart was able to breathe. All the risks are worth it sometimes. If we can afford days like this again, why not do it? We just need to be really careful with back up plans and everything! Photo is of "The Farm"!! The love claimed the shirt that comes with it xD Other is of something I can' =t believe you did. haha

We Will Breathe Air, Just You Wait

So todays not exactly something I would like to reflect on, but it is what I can't avoid with a 365 blog. Half-days definitely do not work out for us. Strike two. Today we got caught again and I found my face hidden behind your various Sunday's Bests hanging in your closet. My movements were non-existent and I would never allow them to be. Well, after Meeting 1 months ago, she now knows that we are dating. "Yes, she IS my girlfriend." As I listened to their conversation that was actually not as similar to an argument as I thought, I just stood there're and leaned against the wall. To consult with an adult the truth behind lies, I feel it is not my place to speak. My eyes connected with the wooden floor boards for a good 10 min with arms crossed. She is actually okay with us; she has nothing against me. Her concern is in the risks and dangers of serious relationships at such a young age. I respect that considering that she's had her share of a young reckless past as well. She is also lying to her husband, that is not a good place to be. When she left, it was instructed I had to leave. What really happened was that I ended up sitting on the floor, still paralyzed by reality. You sat next to me and comfort was needed in a time of guilt. You craved comfort and in my arms did we both find that. You sat infront of me and I wrapped my arms around you. My kisses around your neck and cheek were in reassurance that things will not alter in this heart that we share. We talked about the future and it was asked, "How do we get through 3 years when we haven't even gotten through one?" I told you not to think about the future. As much as I can't take my own advice, just live in the present. Though, if it did make you happy, you should know that no matter what the future brings, you will always have me. It'll be a bumpy 3 years, but we'll get through, I promise. We will be breathing air, just you wait. I am forever yours and you are forever mine.


From: Mr. Hotness

<3<3.>



Apr 9, 10:45 PM





Photo is one of two drawings I did on index cards today.

What Shame? None

So we walked the way with Joe and Francis, and I fell on my ass. -_-' Thank god they didn't see, but the Dominican eventually helped me up. We joked around the whole way: he tried to push me into puddles and I would run ahead. It was warned that the ground was slippery. The slush was already seeping through my boots. I guess I really should've seen it coming, but oh well haha.. We quickly made our way back to his house [as "quick" as we really could be].. and I was lent some dry clothes. Jacob and Francis began to play Halo and COD as me and Joe went on FB. It was actually fun taking my shots at video games, though I was failing. The Dominican's mama came home around 4:33PM, MUCH earlier than usual. @.@ Thank god we were with other people! It was a good day to prove that we can still hang out with others and have somewhat a good time. Then, his father came home. I won't deny that I freaked out when his parents came home because I was naturally nervous.. With all that nerve, I tried to get my ride home. Neither of my siblings were available and I was more mad at my brother. I asked him ahead of time for a ride and he said okay. I call him an hour later and he's still at work. That aggrivated me and my last resort was calling my parents. I can't stand the fact that they don't understand this relationship I'm in...or the rest of the world and how it's changed. Not every guy wants to get in your pants. What "shame" am I supposed to have in hanging out with my best friend, my love? He's not just a boyfriend. This isn't the 80's. I drew tonight to relieve some stress. The drawing's crap. sorry.

Black Friday

Well..as he puts his bro to bed, I'll begin to type this post. I woke up at like 5AM to head to Kohl's with my mom n sister and her boyfriend and right when I woke up there was some news. My sister told me that she saw a text i had received after falling asleep from him saying "i love you" and wishing goodnight. I couldn't help but think to myself "fml." I got the "talks" in the parking lot of a Dunkin Donuts so early in the morning, as well as tonight from my father. They're oky with it, but they really don't want me to do anything stupid. My father has so many precautions because he doesn't know squat about relationships. He was a player when he was younger. >.> lmfao..I installed shelves this morning. I think I did a beautiful job. XD

The Good Kind Of Nervous

My heart felt so sure today. I texted you all day and we both agreed on the nervous, yet excited feelings we were both feeling. To get through 12 periods seemed like more hell than usual. The anticipation was donated to our meeting in the far staircase after school to ask an important question. We both understood what it was, which is why we were so nervous. I also had another question to ask because a day prior, you almost answered my question. As of this 30th of September, I am going out with you. I don't think I have ever felt so good with the idea of who I was with, no matter what others dare say.