Understanding And Pressing On

Eh. Today more or less consisted of learning. Unfortunately, I am the jealous type and I'm not used to how nice of a person you are to everyone including your ex-girlfriend. It's not that I don't like it, it is because when I was in my own situation, I didn't talk to the other person for about a year, really just to get over him. There is the understanding that you never really broke up on terms that were on your faults or decisions, so that can still get me a little queasy. In that case, there is still a friendship and she still obviously feels for you. But then again, you reassured me with the idea that nothing will happen between you two, and my optimism is as high as my insecurities let me. I really believe in change. I hate awkwardness because I get enough of it out of myself. This is why I'm so determined to make the acquaintance. Hell, I don't care if we are different people. This whole world is made of different people and we all get along fine, no matter how different we may be sometimes. Things in life are always subject to change, for better or for worse. I might have to stock up on fake smiles in the future just just hold strong and not bitch. Don't worry, I'm not hiding my feelings. Photo is of cam whoring :D

We Will Breathe Air, Just You Wait

So todays not exactly something I would like to reflect on, but it is what I can't avoid with a 365 blog. Half-days definitely do not work out for us. Strike two. Today we got caught again and I found my face hidden behind your various Sunday's Bests hanging in your closet. My movements were non-existent and I would never allow them to be. Well, after Meeting 1 months ago, she now knows that we are dating. "Yes, she IS my girlfriend." As I listened to their conversation that was actually not as similar to an argument as I thought, I just stood there're and leaned against the wall. To consult with an adult the truth behind lies, I feel it is not my place to speak. My eyes connected with the wooden floor boards for a good 10 min with arms crossed. She is actually okay with us; she has nothing against me. Her concern is in the risks and dangers of serious relationships at such a young age. I respect that considering that she's had her share of a young reckless past as well. She is also lying to her husband, that is not a good place to be. When she left, it was instructed I had to leave. What really happened was that I ended up sitting on the floor, still paralyzed by reality. You sat next to me and comfort was needed in a time of guilt. You craved comfort and in my arms did we both find that. You sat infront of me and I wrapped my arms around you. My kisses around your neck and cheek were in reassurance that things will not alter in this heart that we share. We talked about the future and it was asked, "How do we get through 3 years when we haven't even gotten through one?" I told you not to think about the future. As much as I can't take my own advice, just live in the present. Though, if it did make you happy, you should know that no matter what the future brings, you will always have me. It'll be a bumpy 3 years, but we'll get through, I promise. We will be breathing air, just you wait. I am forever yours and you are forever mine.


From: Mr. Hotness

<3<3.>



Apr 9, 10:45 PM





Photo is one of two drawings I did on index cards today.

He's Having a B.F.! (Bitchfit)

Goodness...I really need to stop baking. It's getting tiring and tempting! There are points where I just wanna eat the brownies for myself >_> I really surprised I actually got all my homework done tongiht..well most of it. I had expected to still be sitting here right now, gouging my eyes out, begging for sleep. Hrm..today was nothing too crazy.. This morning, pa's period came and he had a bitch fit right before church. On the car ride there, he decides he is jsut going to drop my mother, my siter, and I off and he's going home. He's suchhh a girl I swear! Photo to be uploaded is of brownies -_-

The Good Kind Of Nervous

My heart felt so sure today. I texted you all day and we both agreed on the nervous, yet excited feelings we were both feeling. To get through 12 periods seemed like more hell than usual. The anticipation was donated to our meeting in the far staircase after school to ask an important question. We both understood what it was, which is why we were so nervous. I also had another question to ask because a day prior, you almost answered my question. As of this 30th of September, I am going out with you. I don't think I have ever felt so good with the idea of who I was with, no matter what others dare say.