Dilated And Out Of Focus

Sooo.. I finally went to the eye doctor today! I went with my Ma to Claara Maass for a 10:30AM appointment and there was a point where I almost didn't go through with it. Apparently the were some difficulties of what insurances the center "worked with", but we got it settles some how. Gah, not only have I been feeling dyslexic, but today I felt blind, too! "Hi, I'm Stefanellie Saavedra and I am a blind dyslexic :D" Yeah, that doesn't sound too great. A really awkward part about the exam was have the old creepy doctor right up against my face wearing a headpiece with a bright light and a magnifier. He kept breathing out in the way that I didn't want to inhale; I didn't want to take in his air. *shivers* OH. So, I was given some dilating eye drops during the exam and they didn't go into effect until right before I left. I was warned that my vision would get a little blurry and I would be a little sensitive to light. Right before we left, I had to copy down a phone number onto a form. When I tried to read the card I was reading the number off, it got so blurry! Pulling it far from my face, it got clearer. Then, when we left, I walked outside and the sky alone was too bright, I couldn't even keep my eyes open - so I squinted. Either way, I still thought it was hilarious to have those kind of drops. I laughed every now and then and looked into my phone as a mirror to check out that huge black circle surrounded by so little of a brown ring. Photo is of my father chillin' out on the floor watching TV. LOL. I don't even know.

And I guess why not my dilated eyes :D (Well, one of them at least)

Understanding And Pressing On

Eh. Today more or less consisted of learning. Unfortunately, I am the jealous type and I'm not used to how nice of a person you are to everyone including your ex-girlfriend. It's not that I don't like it, it is because when I was in my own situation, I didn't talk to the other person for about a year, really just to get over him. There is the understanding that you never really broke up on terms that were on your faults or decisions, so that can still get me a little queasy. In that case, there is still a friendship and she still obviously feels for you. But then again, you reassured me with the idea that nothing will happen between you two, and my optimism is as high as my insecurities let me. I really believe in change. I hate awkwardness because I get enough of it out of myself. This is why I'm so determined to make the acquaintance. Hell, I don't care if we are different people. This whole world is made of different people and we all get along fine, no matter how different we may be sometimes. Things in life are always subject to change, for better or for worse. I might have to stock up on fake smiles in the future just just hold strong and not bitch. Don't worry, I'm not hiding my feelings. Photo is of cam whoring :D