Realistically, Baby Steps

Part of me doesn't want to lose you. No, scratch that. My entire being, everything that I am made of, does not want to lose you. We will both have to face reality later this year, but as of right now, I can't see myself being happy without you. Today was nice. Though, some feelings may have been picked at throughout the day, restraint allowed us to let it only get so far. I can't begin to express the way you make me feel when I am with you. I feel like such a girl and you even say I have become so feminine. I frankly don't care because if that's what it means to be happy, then by all means, here I am. We sat in the staircase for a good hour, just taking in reality. The feelings we have for each other are genuine. The kisses we share are unique. (Even when you try to kiss me with a half-chewed Sun-chip in your mouth - nasty!) You and I are one and nothing will tear us apart. This is my philosophy. I actually came home early today, while you had to go home, too. It is a baby step towards the fact that we will have to put certain priorities first in the future. When my father came home and saw me here, he smile was a very real one. It even made me happy to have made him smile so truly. Photo is of Joe Salem's mouth after eating some nasty, faux Sweedish Fish! hahhaa

Worth The Risks

So far this week is going good and we still have Dorney Park on Friday to look forward to!!! Today was an unexpected plan till about 8th period. After school, we spent the day with Joriz and Alo. When we double date, it's something honestly very comfortable. We can virtually talk to them about anything and the great part about it is that they've been there. They understand the majority of things we say or complain about. Joriz had work, so we chilled at Applegate Farm with her and we got "The Farm"!! Let's see.. 4 scoops of Graham Central Station, 4 scoops of Ice Cream Cake, 4 scoops of ButterPecan, and 4 scoops of another that I can't recall. Oh - and then 4 toppings: hot fudge, caramel, sprinkles, and cherries! :) Sooo fattening and good! We stayed until 6 and chilled out, then we went to the mall to get Joriz a phone case. It made me happy to be in public with you. Maybe I'm a nerd for wearing your sweater the whole time because it rained. :) Your kisses felt so soft and nice. I definitely feel like I'm falling in love with you like we are back in September. :) God, you make me feel so happy and it is my job to make you feel the same about me! After wards, we hit Hooters for some amazing wiinggs! ;D Tonight was your first time and my second. Unfortunately we all got into an open argument that killed the joy of the day, but I felt so happy to have had that conversation. I teared up because finally, I had a second and third opinion that didn't make me feel so wrong. Joriz was right when she said that there are so many times I always feel wrong, even with the argument possibly on my side. I have found myself finding that I have lost my credibility sometimes. Anyways, we climbed back out of that hole and continued to eat on! Goodness, I have no idea how I ate the amount I did on top of "The Farm"! I haven't eaten anything since! On the way back home, I was hoping to lie back into your arm, full, satisfied, and relaxed. Unfortunately, we could afford that. Your parents called and said they were on the way to pick you up from "ushering at the concert". I was so thankful that there was actually a concert tonight as an alibi! As soon as you got off the phone with you mother, you began to hyperventilate and I didn't know what else to do but pull you close to me and hold you tightly. Sure, I was scared, too, but your safety definitely came first. I kissed the side of your face, your temple, and in my mind, I prayed to God that you would be okay. "Everything will be okay" I promised. Our alibi was good. Thanks to Alo's driving skeeeeelz, we got back to town and right when we got to the front of the MS you parents were around the corner, so we went around back and dropped you off there. As it turned out, everything was good and you were safe. My heart was able to breathe. All the risks are worth it sometimes. If we can afford days like this again, why not do it? We just need to be really careful with back up plans and everything! Photo is of "The Farm"!! The love claimed the shirt that comes with it xD Other is of something I can' =t believe you did. haha