Depression Pits & Missing You

I didn't bother to wake up until 1:30PM. After pulling an all-nighter, sleep was a much desired thing. I found myself tripping into these holes of depression every now and then today. I went to the mall tonight and in XXI I felt it. I felt when I woke up because I thought he was mad at me. I don't like this feeling.. because it reminds me of how I used to be. About once a month, I would get that sick feeling in my stomach where I wanted to just die. It wasn't a pain. It was more like an emotion. It was like a period, haha. Anyways, I couldn't stand today, knowing that I couldn't talk to him. I updated Facebook with "A Toy needs batteries to operate. Me? I need you." It's true. When I can't talk to you or you're not around, I feel so incomplete. I become so lethargic and unwilling to do anything. I'm so glad you're coming back tomorrow night.. I truly am. Photo is of me in the fitting room! I finally got the type of blouse with a zipper in the back, I was ecstatic [emotionally, not showing it] and I felt very fulfilled. The other photo is of the bracelet I'm making for Jacob. :) I finished Ana's earlier.

Alternating Week For The Loner & The Socialist

Well, this sucks. It's currently, 5:37AM into Saturday and I have been up all night. On Thursday night I tried to pull an all-nighter with Jacob, but grew tired around 4AM. We should have given it a day's notice. Hrmm..I'm getting confused with time references now. YESTERDAY, nothing really happened. I've been very lazy this past week, realizing that I phases in and out of being the loner and the socialist. The majority of this week has been portrayed by the loner. Last week was the other. Today I took any opportunity to go out, so I went with my sister and her boyfriend to the DMV. She had to renew her license and I was so fascinated and excited to get my own permit soon. Then, we went to the mall, here I bought a few items and got my hair trimmed. On the way home we went to Sonic and AC Moore. I've spent this whole night working on Ana's piano bracelet [the first of a long list of requests] and chatting with a few friends. It was really an interesting night. A drunk Seamus IMed me on Facebook Chat, asking for dirty pics and other nonsense. It was so hilarious in the dead of the night around 4AM. Photo is of mama sleeping while I straightened her hair. -_-'

Conversion Factors and Threads

The only reason why I was up early today was because of church. Mass was at 10:30AM and I literally woke up at 10:10AM. For that hour of mass, I was awake - in thought that is. I usually let my mind wander through other things, but my mind focused on the future. What if I convert? Maybe I'll be more involved in our religion than I am now. I mean, I sit here for an hour thinking about other things. Even if I do convert, my perspectives of God will never change. Will it really make my parents change their view of me? I can't think of all of this now. Live in the moments and we'll tackle these dilemmas when they come around.

After church, I went with my father to A.C. Moore. I needed to pick up some beads to fix up my sandals - the design is coming off. I picked up a piece to also fix my bracelet. Additionally, I wanted to start making those "friendship bracelets" that you can always find down the shore. I absolutely lovee those! I started on them. My first one was too short and I'm currently half way through my second, better one. Photo is of my first crappy one! XD

I Slept With My Sister Again - Does That Sound Dirty?

I woke up to the aching of my legs this morning. The entire day, I could not walk comfortably or in a straight line at least once. I'm not giving in to any weaknesses nor am I whining - I'm just saying. Anyways, I've continued my streak of waking up any time around noon and had breakfast. At first, I was offered a "Filipino Breakfast" which included some gulay with chicken. I had a little, since my Lola made it and I didn't want to be too disrespectful, but I eventually had a bowl of Smacks. As the day goes on, I went with the sister and her boyfriend, driving around. We went to Urban Outfitters and I, as excited as I was for the sale, left empty handed. Unfortunately, I was only working with 30 bucks and my main goal was to get a nice pair of sandals. I wanted to visit Roland today at work, but we never got to. It's the first day of summer and I didn't do much. Tomorrow calls for a party, so here we go. Photo is of what I've looked like for the past two days: lying on the bed on my sister's computer.

Pass Out For The Better!

So there is not much I could say for today, by considering fact that I spend the whole entire day sleeping and dozing off out of control! I went to sleep at about 4:48PM and did not wake up until tomorrow. I haven't slept all weekend and the night before, since I was working on my history project. I pulled an all-nighter and I didn't know where I began to doze off as I texted you. I just know that I passed out! Photo is of answers to a my math final review that I still have to do. xD

Deprivation

Deprivation of sleep has been creeping up on me again. Yesterday we webcammed until about 2:30AM. School was a little hard to get through because by first period I wanted to fall asleep! Even as I type this now at 11:35PM, my eyes are begging to close shut for the night. Today was kinda cool. The love, Deejay, and I traveled to Jacob's hosue to pick up a chord for Jazz Band and by the time we got there, practice was basically over. Then, we went to his house again.. [jeesuss it was so tiring walking so much! xD ] We only stayed for a bit because learning that his mother was on her way home, I was going to play it safe and not do anything. Kiss kissed in the stairway made me melt! Photo is of an ad I had to do during class.

I Should Be In A Bed Sleeping In Ohio!

Good god, today was such a tiring day! We got back last night around 8PM, but that didn't stop me from feeling tired today during school. No one wanted to be suffering through classes or walking through halls. All day I caught myself saying that I should he in a bad in Ohio sleeping! I held strong for most of the day, but I lost it 12th period. My Chem class was supposed to take notes on a PowerPoint Presentation, so the lights were off. That is the first mistake. Then, we never got to the notes. Instead, Mr. Lepo just talked and talked like no tomorrow about random things. So ofcourse, being drowsy from Band Trip, and with lights off, my eyes begin to droop. Right before the bell rang, I flinched and woke up in a startle. It was a little embarrassing, yet funny. After school, jazz band was canceled due to the tiredness of everyone. I actually went over the love's house without the worry and left on time. It was such a beautiful feeling, being able to lay with him again, just relaxing. I haven't seen him in four days, and 2 days was the limit. I made a sacrifice tonight, though I'm not sure if it was a smart one. I found my heart feeling heavier than my body, with the urge to throw up. I am the dramatist; I am not proud. Though, now we webcam and my heart feels at home. Photo is of webcamming.

We Forgot To Leave David In Ohio. We Have To Go Back!

Boy oh boy. It sucks to say that Band Trip is now over and that I am sitting here at home, but it is nonetheless true. We left the Kalahari Resort around 11AM and it was a very sad thing. My room was so tired that we didn't even bother waking up in time for breakfast. Mann am I goin gto miss those morning pastries! Before leaving, we also got our picture with a Kalahari Mascot who was in the main lobby. I don't know, but that elephant hugged pretty tightly! :0 Then, we were off onto our 8 hour drive back home. There is always that feeling of attachment and the want to stay longer. We all felt that today, most definitely. I am and am not looking forward to school tomorrow, but what has to be done must be done. Therefore, I shall be waking up in a few hours -_-' Photo's is of that with the elephant mascot ! :D

Day 1: Jaelynn Is Awesome

This morning I left my house to embark onto band trip 2010 :D We had a 8 hour drive to Ohio ahead of us, but thinking back on it, the drive wasn't that bad! Being bus-partner's with Rey is fun :3 This whole day was a day of travel, aside from our rest stops and a stop at Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. It was actually good there, but right now the thought of food makes me ant to throw up. I definitely have gotten carried away with food and stuffing my face because I was bored. The resort we're staying at is ABSOLUTELY amazing and is more than just 'nice'. Now I sit on the bed next to a tired, sleeping Ana, Jaelynn, Emily, and the three sleepers. Day one has only ended and we have so many pictures already! Its amazing! Tomorrow calls for an actually, I think we're performing. Goodness, I feel so tired ! Photo is of burger from the Cafe. It would've been good if I didn't eat anything else before that.

Mother Nature Sucks

I woke up at 12:30PM today! There is always a sense of slight disgust with myself, but oh well. I feel like when I wake up at any second before 11AM, I still have a morning to spare. But when my groggy eyes fix onto a clock reading 12:30PM or any minute in the eleventh hour, I feel like a morning was wasted. Not much happened today (it's not like my life is exploding with events), but I still have the greatest urge to go to GSP mall! Buddies from the other night actually invited me to go earlier, but because I came home so late, I knew it wasn't happening. Today was also more focused on hustling my ass on all the work I have waiting for me, due Monday. It is a very stressful thing too - waiting for your period. It is more especially irritating when the lame iPod app you downloaded lies to you, saying it was supposed to come 4 days ago. Come on, Mother Nature! Photo is of a spider I killed this morning. -_-'


And here's another photo just for the sake of it's cuteness.

Drowsy's Got Nuttin' On Me

Despite the fact that I could still be sleeping right now, blogging has become a priority over the couce of like 260 or so previous posts. Anywho, today was pretty decent. What caught me off guard though was how I seemed upset or something to you after school when I was just napping on your shoulder. I was just napping,silly.. you're very comfortable to lie on! We chilled at DJs house for a while just in fact to not go home. We watched a recording of the play, pointing things out like the awkward dancing of certain people xD Hmm.. well tonight you went to church and I was feeling a little drowsy, so I went in for a nap. There wa s no guarantees that I would wake up again to talk to him, but I did. I was quite happy with that and texted back.. and then I fell asleep again. Lol man.. i just really need so Zzz's I guess haha. Photo is of just pics I was taking on the way home. Cam-whoring.

For Lent, I Gave Up Nutella.

So the only excuse I have for no post yesterday was "HOLY FUCK IM TIRED". I cant even post as if it were yesterday because all I did was sleep! I can tell you though.. That I dreamt in sin. I dreamt of eating Nutella, perverts. Its not much , but it nonetheless brought around a craving for some.. But I will admit this is my biggest failure of a Lenten season, no kidding. As for a photo Im sorry to say that I was too busy sleeping to take one, but I might as well post a picture of the sweetest thang in the world :)

Relationships

I will continue to defend my own words. The beauty of a relationship is getting through anything and everything together. ArgueMents are meant to happen, but in an understanding. Both guy and girl have to be willing to talk and get through those 3 steps back to get 4 steps forward. Tonight we just casually talked on the phone, but it led into curious questions in our relationship. "What is your most memorable event in the months we've been together?" theres so much I can give in that answer, so it was hard to narrow it down to one. I can't say I'm a fan of arguements and war, but it is necessary. I am grateful to have someone like you in every way, shape, and form. We were reminded today that at the end of this month we hit half a year, six months. I love you so much.. Just as I did the first month.. Undoubtedly more. Photos of Gaga haha its so dark as I lay here about to sleep lol.

Lethargic, Everyday

My work ethic has honestly lost its value in my mind. I want to be at the top of my class without doing anything. It is a very bad thing to admit , but all I rellay want to do this weekend is sleep. Even when Im awake, my will to pick up a pen and open my folder is very slim. Today I slept in after a long night To Jersey City including the subway journey back. Days like this I Also eat to endless points. I wish I couldve gone out tonight but im far too tired, i cant walk, and i hadto work on my project..that of which im too tired to finish working on.. Im screwed haha . Im watching Bleach on tv right now and it reminds me why I hate dubbed animes. *shivers* Photo to be uploaded is of profile picture I took today.. The previous one was not keeping meh happyy

Psyched

Eghh..today did not start out the best.. Eventually, things patched up this afternoon. I'm pretty psyched for this week because of HSPAs Today was basically our only full day of school this week and tomorrow I ain't waking up at 7AM! Gimme another hour or so and we're good :) Hopefully I can get some breakfast with a lover, or just spend time with him, to say the least.. The cookies sold well today! >:D Photo's of Papa the Taliban and his wife haha..

A Lack Of Energy

So I slept just about all of today. I tried to get up, but the lack of energy did not fully allow me to. I thank the love of my life for staying up with me while I was dying until around 4AM and calling periodically to check up on me. Eating ice and drinking Pedialyte have consisted of my diet that has actually been sitting in my stomach. I tried to make ice pops out of foil, but that failed. She we froze shot glasses instead. I've texted you all of today and I think that has made me quite happy :)

If Plans Go Right

We can be the people we strive to be in the best form, I swear it. Sleep is drowning me from the inside out, and I am completely looking foreward to tomorrow. If plans go right, we are to hang out after school at my house. Maybe walk to Blockbuster or MickeyD's and just be fat.. but whatever it is, I'll just be so glad to be with you :) I also plan on hanging out with mi dos amigo this weekend.. We should really find something fun to do! >:D I like where we are though..the friendships are slowing regaining some kind of conscience. Photo's of noneother lol . My face is nasty .

Uh..What Time Is It Again?

Blahh I've been working on my hw all night and it's already 4:49AM of Monday. I went shopping today, being the spoiled kid that I am..its Christmas and I should being buying for others and I just got new clothes. xD To be truthful, shopping and getting new clothes helps my self esteem. haha..I have to do a speech in the morning. kinda nervous about that. woo I'm out. I need to take a shower in the next hour. boo. Picture of my when I was trying on clothes

Happy Birthday, Love!

Oh my goodness its cold! -puts foot on heater- ahhh.. :D

lol well first and foremost, I would like to wish a special, special person oh so dear to me, a happy birthday. Despite the fact that you don't celebrate this, I'm grateful for every day having you around. Today was so stressful..even before I got off the bus this morning I felt like dying. Our concert was yesterday, and it ended at 9PM. By the time I got home, I was completely exhausted and just wanted to sleep. No matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes open, they gradually fell into place. Doing homework was completely impossible, so I was forced to cram it all during school hours. I cut my hair today. It was somewhat spur of the moment, but at the same time not. I've been acting on impulse lately, and its been working both positively and negatively for me. I'm tired. Headdingg out nowwww! Look, papa is hawt in a headband.

Incapable

So the good news all of today had to be the fact that you are coming tomorrow. I've already said so, but I don't know how I last the three days without you! As I brush my teeth now, I hold up my eyelids to prevent them from shutting tight. I'm not sure why, but I've been quite tired today. In school, I began to feel fatigue so I laid my head down for a couple periods. Sleep is something i need to catch up with, along with my grades. >.> Tonight, we had the minor parade up to the Rec house for the tree lighting, litereally 2 blocks away, and I just wanted to get it over with. Band season is over, and I'm pretty much done for the '09 season. I am incapable of working hard anymore and just want to relax with people I love.