MyDayWith Jacob

So I look back on today, and it went beyond well. This morning, I had no intentions of going to school other than picking up the boyprend. Fears of cutting school have completely left my mind, as I woke up in Summer mode- the mode I've been in since the last day of finals. I woke up and got dressed. [AND MET UP WITH THIS REEEEAL SEXY GUY NAMED JACOB. hahaha today me and stefanellie over dur hung out and made pancakes.. it was awesome we really got creative when it came to makin pancakes lol. but unfortunately our day had to end :l.. we tried to fix her ps3 but its crapped out cuz sony sucks mofo!!... but forreal i just helped stef one day closer too 365 posts :] keep on going almost theeeeere!!] I took the school bus and met up with him. From there, we walked out the farthest exit in the math wing and made our way to the bus stop. The walk was pretty damned warm, I'll give it that! We came home, and I took my very much needed shower. For a while we watched TV, tried to fix the PS3 and then we eventually made pancakes. Though they may have not been IHOP style, they were the best pancakes I've ever made in my life with the best person, too. We got full pretty fast. I still can't believe that spent the whole day together- cheesy as it may sound, it was like a dream come true. I've always wanted to spend a morning with him. It's almost like waking up with your significant other on a Saturday morning and just feeling that sense of complete happiness and satisfaction in every aspect of your life. I love having that feeling with you and it makes me eager for the day I can finally wake up and have you by my side. Photo is of our amazing pancakes :)

I Don't Know, Man.. My Neck Is Feelin' A Little Sore !

I won't say anything. I won't say anything. You are mine and that is all that matters..

Today was fairly interesting due to the fact that I didn't get to school til 8:30AM. Not even down the street or around the corner, but about 100 ft. from School #4, we got into an accident. Some car ran into, more or less, under the bus. On the bus, all we felt was this slight whip-lash that made most of go "wth?" Eventually Stephanie, the bus driver, put the bus in park, and stepped out to deal with the mess. Being in the bus, we didn't really get affected. The car that ran into us, on the the other hand, got messed up! The front bumper was crushed and the hood bent up and in at a 40 degree angle. So there we were, sitting for a good 45 minutes from 7:30AM to almost 8:30AM. I actually made a new friend today in that time. I sat next to Viny, George, and new kid Andy. It was pretty funny because two of us were starving. Viny called his mom to bring him a sandwich, but then we left. hahaha Anyways, it was a nice feeling to finally see you after first period. A hug felt good about then. I need to start accepting that I won't have your shown affection all the time. There are other people in the world who have your friendship, which I understand in my shoes as well. Its just that right now, I feel like when ever we're in the same room, I always want to be with you conversing, laughing, kissing, I don't care. But that's too selfish of me. I remember months ago, when you didn't want to share me with other people. I made bad choices - whatever. Now I feel like I'm in your position, months ago, and your enjoying life as it comes. Well, it's only fair. I'll change.

Mother Nature Sucks

I woke up at 12:30PM today! There is always a sense of slight disgust with myself, but oh well. I feel like when I wake up at any second before 11AM, I still have a morning to spare. But when my groggy eyes fix onto a clock reading 12:30PM or any minute in the eleventh hour, I feel like a morning was wasted. Not much happened today (it's not like my life is exploding with events), but I still have the greatest urge to go to GSP mall! Buddies from the other night actually invited me to go earlier, but because I came home so late, I knew it wasn't happening. Today was also more focused on hustling my ass on all the work I have waiting for me, due Monday. It is a very stressful thing too - waiting for your period. It is more especially irritating when the lame iPod app you downloaded lies to you, saying it was supposed to come 4 days ago. Come on, Mother Nature! Photo is of a spider I killed this morning. -_-'


And here's another photo just for the sake of it's cuteness.

Psyched

Eghh..today did not start out the best.. Eventually, things patched up this afternoon. I'm pretty psyched for this week because of HSPAs Today was basically our only full day of school this week and tomorrow I ain't waking up at 7AM! Gimme another hour or so and we're good :) Hopefully I can get some breakfast with a lover, or just spend time with him, to say the least.. The cookies sold well today! >:D Photo's of Papa the Taliban and his wife haha..

Fixiated To Focus

So I woke up late this morning..that wasn't too fun. My eyelids lifts at 7:52AM and seconds later, my pupils fixiated to focus on the clock. I attempted to call a cab because my brother said he was an hour away. Ten minutes after calling the cab, he calls me back saying to go outside.. what a douche, maaann. When I called the taxi to cancel it, he hung up on me >.> Geez. I got to school and walked into the main office. As it turns out I got the really nice secretary and didn't get Central; woo :D I blame the two cups of coffee from last night. >.> Look, we ushered at the middle school tonight for the chorus concert. good memories there.

Early Delay

Talking to you right now is definitely making my night.. ;D

Today all juniors had PSAT's and so every other class had to report at 10:40AM. I was so relieved to find that out yesterday because it gave me the extra kind of sleep I kinda of needed. I woke up around 7:30, still groggy and unwilling to fully regain conscience. Having nothing else to do, I just got ready for the most part. Around 8:30AM I called him and we talked for a good hour. By 10AM it was time to hang up, because he had to take a shower and get ready for school. We met up at the highschool, which didn't open util 11:22AM. woot!The greatest thing about it was that this extra delay made the day go by extremely fast. =] Practice today went fairly well because for Jaelynn and I, sabre finally clicked. We actually understand all the work we're doing along with progress in our tosses. I'm feelin good!

Dreading That Key

This is the earliest post yet, but my wake up call this morning was not the same. On a typical day, I would wake up around 8:30 AM to the cheerful, persisting voice of my mother calling out to our pets. Thats one of the downsides of sleeping in the living room; you hear everything. Whether you are awake or not, you are part of the life that flows through a tiny apartment. On a typical morning, the phone likes to ring A LOT. Sometimes we don't bother to answer, but my sister picked up the phone out of failure to ignore it.
The phone ringing let alone annoyed me. Then, was the sound of confusion in my sisters voice trying to understand the language on the other line. It was my mothers relatives in the Philippines. Half conscious, I detect a shocked, and indescribable "OH." My heart suddenly dropped. My mind began to race as I waited for my sister to put down the phone. I immediately came to full consciousness, forgetting about the glories of sleep.

My grandfather, my LoLo Pol, had just passed away earlier this morning.

We got the call at 6:10 AM. The biggest thing about this is that my mother has not yet arrived home from her night shift at the hospital. In hopes to understand what to do, I hopped into the shower as my sister packed her things for the day, as she already had plans to go to the beach. She was not sure whether to go or not, but it was decided.

I'm sitting here, in the living room, dreading the hear that key shove its rough metal self into the door lock, allowing my mother to enter.

I sit here in a towel and robe, dreading it. I am the one who has to tell her about it. I wasn't sure, nor have I ever thought about carrying the title "The Bearer of Bad News". For a good while I pondered about how am I going to take care of this? Do I give her the number they left to call back? Or should I tell her first, only see her drop her pink bookbag that she carries her work supplies in; only to see her eyes once again swell up with a redness that I have seen in 2001; only to see her heart drop as mine did earlier; only to see her take in the final death that verifies that both her parents are deceased?

I wasn't very close with my Lolo, but I have visited the Philippines a few times well enough to know that I care for him. My greatest sympathies go out to him as mourning his death will be something to edure. But what hit me the most, emotionally, was the fact that I would have to watch my mother mourn once again, the passing of her parent.

I HATE seeing my mother cry. I absolutely hate it for a few reasons. First of all, no one wants to see their parents cry. We see them as strong people who always hold ground for the family. This expresses the characteristic of vulnerability that every single human being shares. Secondly, I despise the site because sometimes I am the reason for those tears. If not, I am part of the reasons - no, I am, whole, one separate reason as to why there is so much stress in her life.

I admit to myself and to you, and I have been a very difficult child to have raised. Chores never done, attitude thrown around. I regret it all. Its all been like a cake; problems layers on top of another and another. There is icing inbetween that represents the good times we shared inbetween, but I soon enough would see the shadows of another layer coming from overhead.

In bed, I prayed to god. I prayed for his loss, but moreover I prayed to Him for strength. Just so you know, this isn't some holy faith blog, if you are reading this right now. I prayed to himm, begging to give my mother strength; she needs all the strength she can find to get through this.

I know I might not know you, but can you please just take a second to pray for them both: his loss and for her strength.

I'm not the type to be asking out for your prayers, but for the past half hour that I've been typing this, I'm still finding some strength to actually tell her.

There is no picture for this post.