Depression Pits & Missing You

I didn't bother to wake up until 1:30PM. After pulling an all-nighter, sleep was a much desired thing. I found myself tripping into these holes of depression every now and then today. I went to the mall tonight and in XXI I felt it. I felt when I woke up because I thought he was mad at me. I don't like this feeling.. because it reminds me of how I used to be. About once a month, I would get that sick feeling in my stomach where I wanted to just die. It wasn't a pain. It was more like an emotion. It was like a period, haha. Anyways, I couldn't stand today, knowing that I couldn't talk to him. I updated Facebook with "A Toy needs batteries to operate. Me? I need you." It's true. When I can't talk to you or you're not around, I feel so incomplete. I become so lethargic and unwilling to do anything. I'm so glad you're coming back tomorrow night.. I truly am. Photo is of me in the fitting room! I finally got the type of blouse with a zipper in the back, I was ecstatic [emotionally, not showing it] and I felt very fulfilled. The other photo is of the bracelet I'm making for Jacob. :) I finished Ana's earlier.

Define Pathetic

My life is so dependent. I am the saddest story of desperation and flaw. This whole day started off with baking two more batches of brownies , picking up from last night. Then I went to the bakesale at the hs for the play. i can't say it was fun, but something mediocre. I am the odd ball in this life that can't even converse for shits and giggles. I can say one thing to strike conversation, but then after that, I cant think of wat to say so I look away half the time. Im fairly jealous of you today. Youre finding a life better and though, i have found better too, its not everything. I would honestly be happy every second of the day if I was with him all the time, but Im not. And because I fucked our friendship over, i am absolutely nothing -ashes and dirt- without prupose. God help me because you are my last resort in this life. Photo is of the play.