Proven Socially-Improved On A Birthday

Today was a very good day in terms of improving my social self. Today I went with Kim to her friend Nicole's birthday party. I was nervous at first because I have been to Bloomfield parties with the same people before and I didn't allow myself to to talk to new people easily; I was too nervous. Over the past few years, especially this one, i felt like I have gotten better at it and today actually proved that. Firstly, thanks to the help of the best friend and Nicole, I got "formally" introduced to everyone. The actually made things feel more comfortable for me. From there, I let the day take me as it could. I talked when I could, there is no doubt it that. Sometimes I was limited to input because they would talk about people at school or teachers that I couldn't relate to at all. Still, I put myself out there, being the nice, friendly person I am capable of being. I should look down on the fact that I texted the whole time, though. Part of the reason why I did so was that I missed him. I kept checking my phone to look at my wallpaper of the photobooth pictures from Dorney Park. It brought a smile to my face every time. At one point I said good-bye and that I would text him later, but about 10 minutes later, I texted back saying "I miss you already." I couldn't help myself. The other reason was that the amount I could give in to being social was limited, so I would find myself just sitting around. Texting helped fill that void. By the end of the night, we sat in and watched the Hangover. Funnay Movie!! Photo is of a girl we made out of glow-sticks laid out on the grass :D Happy Birthday, Nicole Alcordo! :)

"I've Watched Myself Become the Bitch"

..So I've wanted to write this post for about a year and a half now.. Over the past year I have learned to accept my feelings and allow myself to show my anger and sadness once in a while. We're all human. In the process, I told myself that I didn't want to watch myself "become the bitch" and so here I am. A little upset, I have become the asshole I didn't want to be. Isn't there some saying that explains how we end up becoming what we hate most? I used to be this really, really nice, polite girl who gave respect to everyone. Now, I will admit that I am more comfortable with who I am, but it's not always in control. Sometimes I get carried away with jokes and cross the border onto insult. I'm really going to try to fix myself, and hold back, for the sake of my own morality. And hey, my optmism will get there..eventually. Oh joy, Olga has made my blog two pictures and counting! haha He's in her "obtuse-fuckin' corner" lmfao

Lazy Bum

Sundays can be so passive.. I actually went to church today, dressed up nicely and somewhat willing to go. I really prefer going at 10:30AM because thats when a lot of people are there and its not too late in the day. I sat next to Kim's parents haha.. I attempted to do homework today, but that completely failed. I've been such a bummy, lazy sophmore.. Go Team.

You In My Arms

It felt really nice to just spend an afternoon with you. After school, we just hung out in the band room all day and I had no complaints. Our goofy side shone through and I wanted to pop your pimple. I'm just gross like that. haha. I already am aware of these great feelings I have for you and it just make me happy whenI look back on today. We don't need small secret meet-ups in the staircases to have a good day. Most of the time, I had my arms around you and it felt so nice. :) Walking you out of the highschool seemed like the hardest thing in the world, today! So many people were inside the highschool, due to the crappy weather outside. There was no privacy at all! A couple people decided to be jerks and purposely walk by. >.> Tonight's practice really made me feel sore. As I type this, I still feel like my calves are tight and sore. I dread the fact that I will have to do it again tomorrow night. Joy. Oh, we covered Erik's locker in penises via post-its! :D I hope he's not too mad tomorrow! ahah