Equivalent To It's Tomorrow?

So... I believe I just finished baking 9 dozen cookies, half of which are chocolate chip, while the other half is of double chocolate chunk. Sounds tasty, huh? Typically, I stop eating by 8:30 everyday, but baking tonight made me go against that standard -_-' I needed to taste some to make sure! As far as I'm concerned them shet be goood! :3 I feel redeemed from the last bake sale I actually tried to bake something..we won't discuss that here, though. Amongst tonight, I also realized that no day will be as great as the one before or equivalent to it's tomorrow. This revelation can play out to be something positive or negative. More or less, a individual person's level of optimism determines that part. In scenario one, you have a bad day. The worst thing you could possibly imagine happens- the nightmare you want to wake up from. Tomorrow won't be as bad, that is something you can count on. It is impossible for the same day to repeat itself twice in a lifetime. Scenario 2 accounts for the individual greed for happiness we each posses. The best thing you could possibly ever imagined has happened today. You are on Cloud 9 and definitely don't want to leave. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but tomorrow won't be as epic. Happiness in tomorrow is only today's after-effect and that spuratic feeling of excitement is no longer present. As much as we can shut our eyes tight and wish, the same day isn't happening twice. This is all life in action. Sorry if I confused you. :] Photo's of sushi I had today with the brah. Nom :D

Unconditional

So I basically spent my Saturday with just my parents. It's not something I have come to argue. Because in fact, it is something I am so used to. This morning I woke up and immediately got ready. While I was still sleeping, I subconsciously heard my papa tell me to get up because we are going to the mall, costco, and wherever. I was like a robot when I got up. I ended up being the first one ready to go, hah. It was a good day with just them. As much as we argue on a daily basis, I still find enjoyable days with them. I saw something amazing between them right before we got to the mall. They got into this arguement about how my father's co-workers shouldve couldve done this and that. My mom is the kind of person who will stand her ground to the end on what she says. My father tried to say that his men just make mistakes so it was nothing. Still, she argues how much at fault they were. They argued and argued all the way to the parking lot.. I thought our "good day" was officially over. Then, it went silent. I assumed they weren't going to talk for the rest of the day. My pa throws in a corny joke about the way my ma talks sometimes. They were laughing. I was shocked at first, but was soon amazed by the unconditional love. One stupid arguement won't even ruin their day. I want that very much. Photo's of the big jug of wine Papa bought at Costco.

Charcoal Trials

Hrmm.. Today we got our snow day. I think everyone can agree in fact that snow days can be much more boring than a regular day. It's different from a vacation because typically, you are captivated by the snow all around you and part or you just doesn't feel like doing anything. That is exactly of what my day consisted of.. Nuffin. After yesterday's escapade, I really didn't feel like putting my suffered feet into motion. Oh, well I did go to Barnes & Noble tonight! I'm moving on to experiment with a new medium, lately: charcoal. It's so unorganized when I begin because I never get the formal lesson of how to use the medium. I use all the experimental elements. Its something I like to call trial and error. With a paper and charcoal, I see what works. Currently, my knack for perfection in proportion and shading is not up to par. Im not so much worried about it yet. Photo to be uploaded is of my father when he was 13. Second trial piece.

Why Can't I Wake Up?

Oh god how I wish this afternoon hadn't happened. It was one of those nightmares where one of the worst scenarios takes place,but then you wake up and everything is okay. Unfortunately, I didn't wake up and everything wasnt okay. In fact i couldnt even close my eyes and dream any of it away. I was too busy fighting hypothermia. Today was a half-day and we got out of school due to the inclimate weather. I've always loved snow, but after today my feelings for it have decreased. So like any typical afternoon, I snuck over his house to chill. The maid was still home so I snuck through the side door. Based on all the snow while walking, he took off his pants because they were wet. I personally didn't mind or care but it would play against us soon enough. I can't change cus i dont have other pants. We didn't even do anything..we chilled on the couch with the laptop and watched TV. Then a shadow passed by the window and its his mom. Panic floods all over and i run to the near closet. I shouldve closed that door all the way. I shouldve ran to the dark corner and crouched in a ball to blend in with the darkness. Not thinking straight, i left a crack in the door open. I didnt think she would come down. Long behold, I hear footsteps coming down. I breathed a little thinking it was safe. Then, i hear a second voice and its not his alone. Suspicion is like a pot of water beginning to reach boiling point. I wanted to close the dor shut, I wanted to run into the corner. Failure tells me its already too late. If I move, I draw Attention to myself via sound. I clutch onto the remote and phone and take a breath. The door opens and my heart drops below the ground. We share a glance and she steps back, dumbfounded. Scolding in spanish needed no translation. She assumes I was snuck in and he's not wearing pants and the wrong idea is put together. We still file out a lie. I am just a friend. I am hiding because i am afriad to be seen since Im the only girl around. He still tries to convince her about the pants which is true. God, she told me not to be scared, but the feeling is inevitable! Especially from a situation like that from my POV. We eventually come kind of grounds and she goes upstairs. We sit back down on the couch, but I am like a mindless dog- staring at nothing. He told me to relax, that shes chill. I shake my head in disagreement. She makes plaintains and ribs which we feast on. i wouldve been more polite directly complimenting her on her cooking, but I was unable. He told me to go home. The suspicion was way too high. I just wanted to end this nightmare and left. His mom suggested to wait here for my ride, but I didn't want to be in this dream anymore. I thanked her for the food and declined the offer- I'm taking the bus. I made my way out and the snow fell moderately. Half-way up the block, I was already covered in snow. My mind was just as blank as it had been an hour ago. The cold was getting to me and I wanted to wake up. At every crosswalk there was a huge puddle I couldn't avoid. Half-way up the block, I was shivering and my feet were soaked and wet. That made it worse. My feet were going numb and I had a long way to go. Every now and then, I had to brush off the snow accumilating on my entire body. Frequently, my eyes shifted to every white lawn of untouched snow. My feet were cold and my mind was tired. I wanted to drop over to the side and literally fal asleep and close my eyes, letting the snow overtake my whole body..falling asleep into a better dream and out of this nightmare. But I couldn't. I had to get home and live up to the lie I told my mother. I pushed my body and numb, slippery feet until I got to the bus stop. I eventually made it. Waiting, I pulled out a wet dollar and 35 cents. I almosy wanted to cry in disbelief, but I was still mindless. The bus came and I took it to Claara Maass. The ride gave me a couple minutes to warm back up, but I would soon have to face the weather again. When I got off the bus, the wet, cold sensation in my feet came rushing back, but not in complete surprise. Just at the end of my block, I felt like falling over again, forgetting about the world. I made it home though. It was only 3:00PM, earliest I've ever been. It was a half-day too! I came home to find both of my siblings home. I couldve been picked up to avoid the snow, but still didn't regret the death journey. Call me stupid and ridiculous, but I like walking If I'm emotional. Maybe the snow was just more specific of how bad of a day I was trying to walk off. The emotions slightly died down by the end of the day, but it doesn't change fact of how it happened. I never woke up from the dream. I will stick to my words and quote my self. "No relationship is perfect. The beauty of a relationship is getting through anything and everything together." Through shitty times and amazing days, I wouldn't want to go through them with anyone else other than you. Photo to be uploaded is of my disgusting feet after the walk.

Everyday, Actually

I can easily use the phrase "Of all days" , but I technically mean every day. Of all days, I wish I could've been with you today. Affection came a little late today, about 15 minutes before I had to run practice. Part of me just wanted to be like "Fack this, let's get out of here!" I didn't want to stray away from your tight grip, but I had to run today's practice with Jaelynn. I ended it early because it's just too pointless to stay until 5:30PM, not really doing anything. Only a few girls were there. I don't know..I just keep thinking back on today and keep wishing I had spent it with you..if it doesn't snow tomorrow, I'm praying I get the chance to do so. Photo's of Rey being a bum :)

What Shame? None

So we walked the way with Joe and Francis, and I fell on my ass. -_-' Thank god they didn't see, but the Dominican eventually helped me up. We joked around the whole way: he tried to push me into puddles and I would run ahead. It was warned that the ground was slippery. The slush was already seeping through my boots. I guess I really should've seen it coming, but oh well haha.. We quickly made our way back to his house [as "quick" as we really could be].. and I was lent some dry clothes. Jacob and Francis began to play Halo and COD as me and Joe went on FB. It was actually fun taking my shots at video games, though I was failing. The Dominican's mama came home around 4:33PM, MUCH earlier than usual. @.@ Thank god we were with other people! It was a good day to prove that we can still hang out with others and have somewhat a good time. Then, his father came home. I won't deny that I freaked out when his parents came home because I was naturally nervous.. With all that nerve, I tried to get my ride home. Neither of my siblings were available and I was more mad at my brother. I asked him ahead of time for a ride and he said okay. I call him an hour later and he's still at work. That aggrivated me and my last resort was calling my parents. I can't stand the fact that they don't understand this relationship I'm in...or the rest of the world and how it's changed. Not every guy wants to get in your pants. What "shame" am I supposed to have in hanging out with my best friend, my love? He's not just a boyfriend. This isn't the 80's. I drew tonight to relieve some stress. The drawing's crap. sorry.

That Sick Feeling

Hrmm.. today took a while to come around full circle. It's never a decent feeling to go to sleep without hear the voice of the person you love. I haven't talked to you since 6:00PM, yesterday. Today during school, you wouldn't even keep eye contact with me.. it hurt so much. Before first period, I was already prepared to leave the building. By 8:50AM I had this sick feeling in my stomach dreading to see your face. At lunch, you wouldn't even look at me. I held back my hardest from tearing up during the day. Finally we got to your house and we laid down. Things still weren't right. I broke down in your arm, tears drenching your white v-neck. We finally discussed what went wrong. Eventually, resolve was found and once and I was smiling brightly as any day, maybe more. I can't bear not talking to you for even an hour. The idea of going without your voice or texts for a day was unbearable.