We Saved a Bird Today & I Helped the Rookies

There is something I've always disliked about doing this 365 Project: the nights where you are just plain tired and already in bed and the thought hits you "I still need to post!". A wide range of curses mosh in your head because there is no other choice other than to get up and write it because you need to keep up. But then again, this is why I decided to do this. I put myself to this challenge and of course, I'm not gonna love it all the time. I can't help but feel proud at how dedicated I've been to this.

Today was once again, HOT. This Wednesday was supposed to be ours. Your brother was supposed to go to 6 Flags with the maid and the house would be ours. Unfortunately, he didn't go because it was too hot. I left the house early anyways. You couldn't go out, so I just stayed at the high school where they were having a morning practice for the band. When I found my way there, I saw them on the field so I just chilled out there for a while. I also eventually went inside to chill in the nice, air-conditioned surroundings. When the band had sectionals, I hopped from section to section meeting rookies and even helping out with music. I felt comfortable. Part of me prefers these simple practices that are relaxed and sometimes makes me wonder why I didn't just march flute. Then again, I know where my passions are and where my perfectionist qualities come into character - guard. Even with rehearsal tonight, I can't help but think that maybe I wasn't meant to exactly be a captain. I like perfecting myself solely because I find it easier. I feel bad when I try to help someone and they have to deal with my chaotic mind. I don't say it to sound self-righteous. I'm just more of the introvert who is better at working on their self. But my own characteristics are not going to get the best of me and prevent me from being who I want to be. As wrong as it sounds, I want to be someone else. I can grow tired of being the shy introvert. I want to be a leader. At HOBY, they told us hey, even if your not a leader, pretend to be one. Pretend to be strong, organized, and set. That's what a leader does, anyway. So, for the greatest sake of this guard, I am going to pretend to be a great captain and do the best that I can. If I pretend enough, I will be.

Today I also got to "have our day". It may not have been what we wanted: a whole house to us, but it was anything. and I was willing to settle for "anything" just to be with you. I stayed for a while - I even got to watch you play Drake's Fortune. It was best that I didn't play because even you said that the part you were at was nerve-racking. Unfortunately, those nervous feelings and paranoia of getting caught at your house enveloped me and I could not help but leave early/on time to get out of there. As it turns out, she didn't come home for another hour! Just my luck -__-' Photos are of Roland ringing me and my Medium Graham Central Station and of my visit this morning.

The Heck?! It Was 100+ Degrees Outside?!

Well hey, today was good. I'm extremely anxious to spend tomorrow with you and I couldn't help myself today. I had to see you, so I woke up extra early to bike with you. It's more or less an opportunity to just be with you. We chilled at the HS track for a bit and then rode to 7-11 to keep up some kind of hydration and food supply. I had a blanket with me for a picnic we were supposed to have at the Park with Jon and Ana later, but we also used it in the morning for our own little picnic. Goodness. The sun was beating down on us like no tomorrow! We settled down under a tree, but the sun found it's ways to us; we laid in this dry heat for a good while. Compared to the last time we laid there, today was so much better. We actually made very good conversation and I wasn't fading off into thought. I am so proud of today with you. We conversed so well and enjoyed it all.

Later, I brought you along to Ana's house. That was definitely a positive step in bringing two sides of my life together. We just chilled in the living room and watched MTV's Disaster Date and Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory. We all talked and laughed here and there. I was happy. He stayed until Jon and Karen came over, so he was able to meet him, actually! :) Unfortunately, he had to leave after that because his mama. So, Karen, Jon, Ana, Emily, and I migrated down to the basement to have our little "picnic". Yeah, it was way to hot to even think about going outside! With blankets laid out, we chilled out and watched Aladdin. That movie was so cute! :3 Gah, I would hate to think back on the fact that I ate my life away throughout the whole movie. I haven't had much today except half a sub from 7-11 from earlier, but the fact that I just binged made me feel bad. When I had to leave early around 7PM, I didn't even bother eating anything else. It's definitely not healthy, but oh well. Photo is of us at the park, just as he honestly requested. Mann, my hair was a hott mess! We played the Penis Game at the park :)

Two Butterflies And A Freaking Helmet

Today seemed like a first step in our attempt at fixing us. The idea was for me to wake up early, ride my new bike to your house (or meet up with you at the HS, whichever), and keep around while you exercised around the HS track. I was so ready this morning; I've been continuing to take a better initiative in my life and stop procrastinating with things. It pissed me off this morning when I was trying to be polite with my mother, telling her that I was going to take the bike instead of getting a ride. Bringing the bike was a big part of my plan and without it, everything virtually seemed ruined. In theory, if I hung out with you today, it wouldn't have worked well if I was constantly walking and you were on a bike, always ahead. It literally broke me when she began to argue that I can't take the bike. She swore that I didn't know how to ride a bike and that if I was pulled over by a cop, she would go to jail because I wasn't wearing a helmet. Simply, it was jut too dangerous to! I cried and expressed my anger in other ways, more for the fact that hey, I'm trying to put my efforts to fix something that means so much to me and this is whats stopping me from having today? I couldn't help but think how ridiculous her excuses were. The thing is, it didn't seem like the idea of riding a bike phased her until today. This day that I needed most; the day that I mapped out routes for in my mind last night. Today was for us; a future together we promised; saving everything from slipping away. Eventually, I took up my last resort and got a ride from my brother. If this day couldn't go down as I had planned, it had to go down any way possible.

So there I was, a [pede]strian, standing in from of the high school. I waited a few seconds before heading my way behind the high school, taking a short cut to the field. I texted him, telling him my situation and also explaining that I would just meet him there. He replied with the fact that he had to run an errand beforehand anyways and that I should just walk towards his house. A little happier inside, I followed orders and made my way towards his place. I was happy because I thought hey, maybe this day won't be so bad. I'll run errands with him; I'll watch him exercise - just anything to be with him. Walking down Division Ave. [by the way, I'm starting to know my way around Belleville more! Street names and all], I saw various people on bikes without helmets. I frankly don't care about the safety gear, but the ridiculous morning I had about them made me resent every single one of those people I saw. Another one was steering my way. "Ugh, another one. Great" I tried to look away, but a quick glance turned into a double-take. As he got closer, this guy looked more familiar. Close enough to realize who it was, I took back my last thought and a smile naturally began to grow on my face. It was the guy my morning almost prevented me from seeing.

It was a little awkward at first, seeing him. All I could think back to was yesterday's epiphanies and conversation. Are we going to be okay? What if we break up? God, I can't lose this guy. Screw it, let's just put our best efforts in. With him on a bike and myself walking, we made our first stop to the corner store by School #3. He needed to pick up an Arizona Green Tea for his sick friend, Gio. Then, we made our way to Dan's house, where he picked up another bike he left there, which I borrowed for the day. Oh Jesus Christ - that seat hurt so much! I'm pretty sure I'm bruised down there, as that seat was way too narrow. It was like I was sitting on nothing, just pain. Next, we headed for Town Hall, where he needed to pay the water bill. I sat in the front on a bench, sweating profusely in crevices from the bike ride. This was only the beginning of a dirty, hot, sweaty, muscle-toning day. After drying off just a little bit, we were off to visit the sickly. It was nice to finally sit in some kind of air-conditioning, away from the heat. For the most part, we watched him play COD4 and chatted. Later on, his girlfriend Sarah, came over and it was a party. Just kidding. She's a really nice person and pretty cool, too. Unfortunately, my awkwardness trailed back when ever the guys just left. I didn't know what to really say. I tried, though! Eventually, he and I got some privacy when we climbed atop Gio's bunk-bed, jokingly. When they left, we finally were at our cores, left in yesterday until now. He first brought it up, with a simple, innocent question. "Do you care?" I looked into him, a little surprised, but nonetheless sure that yes, I care with all of my heart. There, we talked about this hole we're in and how we get out. We both individually realize that the other is someone so significant in our life - the "best I ever had" and the "best I'll ever want". From there on, we had a better mindset for the rest of the day. We're both determined on the phrase "We can get through this."

We left Gio's house to give them their own needed privacy and headed down the hill to Jaelynn's to drop off her R4. Oh, how I've learn to despise hills. Hungry and begging for food, we made our way back up the hill and to 7-11. We bought an X-Lrg Slurpee, a nice, cold, roasted chicken & cheddar cheese foot-long sub, and two Monterey & Jack Chicken taquitos. Mmm, good. We decided to eat in the park right behind the store, bikes down and finally relaxing. We later found ourselves under a tree, laying in the grass together. I was in your arm nook, with my own sweaty arm wrapped around your sweaty body. I couldn't ask for anything more. The bugs were crawling all over my legs, but I didn't want to move. The ants were tiny- whatever. I wasn't budging. Kisses here and there, declarations of never feeling this way in previous relationships... yeah, I didn't want to be anywhere else. Did I mention the kisses?! For the time, we were alone, but kids finally came to the park, so that was our cue to leave; time was falling out of our grasp, anyway. We unwillingly rode back to his house to return the bikes. I stayed inside for a while, just taking a breather from such a tiring day. He then got a phone call from his mother who was on her way home. It was already understood that it was my time to leave and end this blessed day. I gave as many kisses as I could before running out the front door like a nerd, hoping not to get caught. Never stop running until you're in the clear and don't look back, I would tell myself. Around the corner making my way up the hill is where I relaxed.

In thought, I concluded this day with better realities than initial expectations. I walked back to the high school, where I waited a good while for my ride. I continued to take initiative and called up my ma. I apologized to her about this morning and told her that I love her about four times in conversation - much more than the average numbers. I decided not to text him first because maybe it would be good like this. I didn't want to risk ruining the day, like texting always has its ways of doing. I know we can get there; we'll get to a place better- me and you. I saw two butterflies pass by throughout the day and for some reason, each one gave me a reassurance and hope that in the end, we are going to be okay. I love you. I've never had other boyfriends, but I well enough know that you are the only one who will ever make me feel this way and I'd rather not prove myself right. Photo is of my view as I sat in front of the high school, waiting for my bother to pick me up. He took forever, but was just in time before the rain came in.

It Not Cute It's Not Funny; It's Rude And Mean

It felt good, not having to worry about whose around or hurting anyone's feelings, kissing you today. There was something about that little freedom that made me so happy to be with you. Other than that it was HOT AS BALLS today. I took a shower last night, but walking into school today made me forget that I ever even did. I'm so grate to have the greater percentage of my day spent in Air-conditioned rooms! Maaaan, do I keep fucking up. Photo is of dick drawing while lotioning Jaelynn's leg haha

"Run Until I Get Sick" My Ass!

Practice today was some kind of bullshit stunt pulled by our instructors. We practiced in the gym because we couldn't get the auditorium. Girls were constantly getting yelled at for timing issues, not doing the right work, or whatever reason PJ came up with. I don't know if he noticed, but to amplify any type of sound in a gym causes an echo. Therefore, girls in the back can't hear shiznit. I really feel bad for them, considering that Milenz had the nerve to tell us to take laps around gym until she got sick. We have no respect for her, under the fact that she tells us not to be lazy, as she sits down. (preferably with a bagel or some type of food in her mouth.) Previous to practice beginning, the girls found a volleyball and played around with the nice net. It was so fun! :D Hrmm..but I think the hours before that are what make up the highlight of my day. :] I hung out with Jacob the whole afternoon, sitting in the staircase, hoping no one would pass by. The track team was down the hall the whole time, so I got paranoid. haha goood day =D

TGIF, Right?

That day was a 9-5PM practice same as the day before. It was still hellish, just not as bad. JT had come once again, after lunch to help out with our oh-so-faulty guard. We stood in a block on the blacktop parking lot of School #7 getting ready to do some basics. The few trees that stood above our area only covered the front line and more space to the right of us. This is why I like being a veteran :) As a 3rd year, I stand in the front as a reference point for new girls to follow for timing. With that, I get the limited amount of shade! Itwas great. I do feel bad for them, but I've already had a share of sun in my eyes and burning on my back. It sounds harsh, yes, but they really need to pull it together and learn what real work ethic is. Whining is not an option and asking questions is obselete.

So, what figured to be some peggy-spins and drop-spins turned out to be more than 400 of them. Just a tip for life: Do it right the first time and so we don't have to worry about doing it again. The clouds seemed nicely placed in the sky: dark and shady. After suffering so many reps with Shannoin at JT was on his phone, we ended up going inside to excape the heat and watch som '05 Drum Corps. He had marched Cadets then, pointing out his flaws and memories of the show from Finals. I don't know, but I like him and all, but I just didn''t end the week with a good vibe from him. Whatever. It was his last day anyway. On the way coming inside, my voice cracked and it surprised me. I wasn't planning to get sick on a Summer day; nor did I think it would ever happen.

Then, the rain came. Apparently a "deadly storm" was on its way and the entire band came back inside as it began to pour. Lucky me left my purse and drill binder on the field for sectionals because I had assumed we were coming back. wamp. Meeting back with the band I found that myu purse was safe, but my binder was still out there. Every page is in a page protector specifically if I ever left it out in bad weather. That purpose failed. No one picked it up, but apparently everything else was achieved. Later after practiceended early, as the rain was settling down, I went back to the field and retrieved my soaked drill book. I worked so hard on it, too!!

Beginning Le Sabre!

As discussed in the previous post, I have begun band camp. This day was day numero 2. I can't say anything was too different but the weather sure was the same! HOT. HOT. and. HOT >.> All I can tell you is that my tanlines are improving and hey, theres nothing we can do about it is there? On that Tuesday, I remember being able to feel the heat burning my skin tone 2 shades darker than it already was. I knew that when I would get home and look in the mirror before jumping into the shower, I would find a greater contrast in what my skin looks like now to what it did only three days ago. Oh, I also started spinning sabre that night as well! Our instructors came that night and pulled us separate from the rest of the guard. Shannon, Jaelynn, Regina, and I were about to begin weapon basics. We stood in a small block of four, in first position, with best posture possible. I borrowed an extra pair of Shannon's guard gloves, being that I lost my own pair earlier into last season. Booyyyyyyy did those glove smell bad! They've been through seasons of lots of sweat! Blegh, thinking of it doesn't give me a good feeling. I stood in the back line, with my sabre at a good left flat, as we began to do basics. PJ only asked for one count, but I still felt that nervous butterflies feeling in my stomach. It was not that I had never practiced with a sabre before, but it was the first actual practice where I was spinning with others and not at home. Also, as I stood in the back I look at the other three girls and thought, "Wow, it feel like our first day all over again..". Despite how long any of us had been spinning, we were all in the same scenario right now. We were all equally quiet; no egos were shooting into the sky, and no one was being a smart ass. At first, he said to do simple spins. Then, he moved up to blade tosses (which I love!) singles, doubles, then triples. NEXT, we jumped to regular tosses: singles, doubles, triples, quads, fives, sixes.. oh then we stopped there because we couldn't go any higher. haha. I just thought it was crazy how he was making us do all that in one day! We're spinning sabre in this year's show, and all I can hope for is to be as good as possible!

First Day Of The Longest Stretch

So that Monday was a good one. For some reason, I always get excited on the first day of band camp. I mean really, who isn't? I woke up that morning feeling ready for some hardcore work. I had my water jug ready full with ice cold water, sunblock ready to be applied, money for lunch, and soffee shorts and tank tops ready to be sweat in! (yeah that last one was kind of gross) It kind of felt like the first day of school, but better. When I woke up, I also felt sore in the legs. Thanks to the day before at Mt. Creek and all the walking!

As nice as I felt when I woke up, that feeling didn't last very long. At about 8:40 AM, I was ready to leave, so I woke up my brother. Actually, I've been trying to wake him up since about 8:30 AM. I had everything ready by the stairs, so I was just waiting for my brother. By the time he woke up for real, I thought, "Alright let's leave..any later and I might be late." My brother started looking for his car keys and we started realizing he couldn't find them. Now for a little side note: To know me, you would know that I tend to panic sometimes on last minute things. It was about 8:45AM and I was tearing our living room apart. It didn't help that our house was a mess to begin with since there were no parents in state to clean up. Papers were going every where, bags were being thrown around, and pillows and blankets were on the floor. That scene looked exactly as I will describe: me throwing everything around and looking under the couch and whatnot panicking like theres no tomorrow. I thguht to my self "how the hell am I gonna be late on the FIRST day!" I wasn't up for running laps on day 1. Then, there's my brother still half asleep, walking around, chill, just looking for his keys. I think that moment got my blood pressure off the charts! (I also had to pick up Regina for practice as well. so, that didn't help either.)

My brother then decides to call my sister asking if she took them. She replies stating that my brother had left them in the door the night before, so she took them out and placed them at the bottom of the steps. At this point I'm thinkinging, "grrrreeeatttt....CAN WE LEAVE NOW?!" I really am such a spaz. It's nothing to be proud about haha..me and my procrastination..

So we are finally on our way and I text Shannon that we would be a little late right after picking up Regina. I get the reply:

Shannon 8:52 AM

Oh its okay we're not doing anything yet

Monday, August 17th, 2009

I stopped to think. It was the first day of Band Camp. We have a Breakfast on the first day, every year. I just panicked for no good reason. I'm such a failure. Haha..so yeah go ahead and laugh at me right now. -waits-

So we get there and have a nice, subtle breakfast of bagels, eggs, munchkins, snacks, and drinks in the auditorium. Excitement is shared between rookies and veterans as we eat away. When everyone finished, we made a circle on the stage and sat down to introduce each and every person, new and old. It was kind of nice to know that this year we couldn't even fit every one in the circle! This year our size has moved from about 45 member knocked up to about 70! After that, we went onto the field and did stretching and all that warm up jazz and started drill and basics. By the end of that day I was worn out, anxious to jump in the shower, and sleep; only to do the same thing the next day.

Call be a band nerd. I don't care :) It makes me happy.

Hike Up A Mountain, Why Don't You?

From what I remember, that day was decent. Me, my sister, her boyfriend, and Kim went to Mountain Creek. I believe that everyone should go there at least once every summer, just for the sake of it. It;s one of the best water parks, in my opinion. Anyways, as much as I felt guilty for not attending church that Sunday, I skipped it for a water park. We left early morning and got some breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, later realizing we could not find the discount coupons for Mt. Creek that we picked up weeks ago. That pushed us about an hour behind schedule, as we began Dunkin Donuts hopping to look for the same vouchers. Unfortunately after stopping at each of like the billion lacations in town, we could not find them. It really was pointless because it was only a $5 discount. Oh well..


Ugh, the DD hopping was a bad idea. It falls on top of the fact that we unknowingly chose the hottest day to go. We ended up getting there by noon only to find that the initial parking lot was way full, and we would have to go park at another one, costing us an extra three bucks. To our luck, the extra parking was down a nice, steep hill that we would have to climb back up. [fml] The line to pay admission was insanely long!


We finally get in and I'm seeing these guys with dirt bikes taking the ski lift. I looked at them and thought, "wow..I wish I could do that." I took a second llook at them and thought again, "Damn, nevermind I wouldn't wanna wear all that
























clothing on a day like this!" I really don't know how they do it! there were wearing like the long sleeves, gloves, the pants, the shoes, the helmet.. on the hottest day ever, too! They crazy fools. lol


The day at the park was okay its just that the lines were insanely long! If anything we should have gone on a rainy day. Kind of like the day I went to 6 Flags when it started pouring. That was by far by favorite day this summer! There were so few people, and it was a great, different experience! lol Oh, and tell me how it took 2 hours of waiting in line to get food during lunch AND to find seats! so ridiculous lol.


Oh. I failed on the Tarzan swings, but you don't need to know about that. =P