I've Eaten Way Too Much Today & Ran From A Storm

Everyone aspires to be the individual- to be the person who can stand on their own. I have become an individual, and I have never felt so alone in my life. This isn't a pity post about how lonely I am in my life and how I wish I had my old life back. This is about the human realization that being "an individual" isn't all it's hyped up to be. It's the dream to always have someone by your side, when you're up, down, piss-drunk, high, etc.

Today was annoying mixed with a side of stress, while I honestly thought I was going to get that physical vacation I've been begging for. My mind has checked out so long ago that my body needs to catch up. We went to the beach today. Last night was so hectic figuring out whether we should go to 6 Flags or the beach, and we decided the beach. Then, this morning while I was getting ready, my sister calls me and asks if I still want to go. That is where the irritation began. I was frustrated in fact that the decision was made and here we were last minute, questioning it. Can we please stick to one plan? The day could not go without my mother complaining and whining about what should've, could've, and wasn't done. We forgot to bring coins for tolls and parking. We forgot to bring a blanket. She would not hop off either problem. Aside from that, today was fun. Riding the waves, learning how to tread water, boobs popping out, seeing fatter versions of Taylor Lautner... today was good. It didn't live up to the potential vacation my mind had set, but what ever does right?

When we got back from the shore, I quickly came home to shower and change. I met up with friends at Red Robin's for Deejay's birthday dinner. It was chill, but this is where I felt the difference of being an individual. I felt like I was fending for myself, trying to keep myself out there. It's been a while since I was able to chill with people, feeling 100% comfortable with them and not afraid to open my mouth. Times have changed and here I am. I caused too many awkward moments tonight because I'm kind of out of the loop. I want to be the kind, chill person I know I can be, but I'm afraid that when I say things I'm too comfortable with, I sound like a jerk because these aren't the right people to say it to. As an end result, I don't say anything at all. What's wrong with me? Photo is of a crane machine at Point Pleasant that reminded me of Jacob. He really wanted one, but I didn't do it xD VUVUZELAAAS!

Sneak In For What It's Worth

Oh yes.. the weekend is finally here! That Saturday played out as a typical morning with errands to be done with my parents. The car included my parents, my brother, and myself. One of the first things we did was get my uniforms for this coming school year. To be honest, its not that bad; the idea of wearing a uniform, I mean. I've been shopping recently and I think to myself, "Oh well there's no point in getting this because I won't be able to wear it anyway." I'm aware of going out on weekends, but I already have a huge amount of clothes to begin with. After uniforms, I believe we went to Costco for food shopping! For some reason shopping at Costco makes me happy. It must be the "wholesale" thing its got going. We got a bunch of fruits, cereal, and rotisserie chicken. [The chicken there is to die for!!! SO GOOD.] We also went to the mall that morning because my mom needed to pay bills in person. I also wanted to look for khaki pants, because the pairs that our school provides is for guys only. [Not very flattering on a female's body] We went to Kohl's after that, where I finally got my pants. Three pairs came up to $78.00. Insane.

So I get a text from Michael inviting me to go to the movies; more or less, an invite for an adventure. I met them up at Jeremy's house, but he wasn't coming which was kind of sad. It was Jill, Jamie, Marison, Michael, and I. We picked up Olga and headed straight for the movies. Walking up to the front, we discovered a nice, long line to buy tickets. I had my card with me, but apparently the kiosks were out of order. We went inside to look for people we knew who worked there to get us free tickets because a couple of us were under-aged! We were planning to watch THE Fninal Destination 3D which was starting at 7:15, and it was already 7:00PM. Time was wasting as we stood there in the middle of the concessions lobby, until one of Marison's friends passes by. They start talking and a plan arose! Sneak in through the side door! I've never snuck into a movie before, so the adrenaline was rushing! No hesitations were rising; I was all for it. We all started walking toward the side of the building [how fishy must that seem?! A huge group of asians walking in through the side] as Marison's friend came out from the AMC and pushed open the door while no one was looking. We al rushed in and from what I heard, Jill just stood there so Michael had to pull her though. haha. I giggled to myself silently as we rushed to the theatre door. It was a 3D movie so we all needed glasses, right? How did we get them, you ask? As we walked through the doors, I shoved my arm into the recycle bin for glasses and grabbed as many as I could! Unfortunately, that "many" only turned out to be 2 pairs. I gave one to Olga and we continued in. Goodness that theatre was full!! Our only option was front row. Front row and 3D. Greattt. Despite that, we laughed the entire time and the movie was horrible, by the way! I sat next to Michael and Jill and we commented throughout the whole thing! After wards, we headed into Nutley to catch Bryan as he got out from work. We met him at Rita's where we endlessly asked for Sweedish Fish Italian Ice samples! IT REALLY TASTED LIKE IT. Leaving Rita's, the plan was to go back to Bryan's, where we would all go into one car [some how] and go to Red Robin's.

Surprise Surprise. We got lost. In Nutley. We went around in the same square like twice, haha. Getting lost is a fun experience! Red Robins was good, just being able to chill out and feast on one order of macho nachos. :D good night. it was.