Sunday, January 3, 2010


I have fallen vulnerable when I really should've kept strong to my self-promise. I knew that if I became used to expressing my feelings and speaking when I have the tiniest thought, everything would fall down hill from there. I would become used to letting out emotions, even the ones I don't even understand. It would cause trouble with myself and others. I didn't even gradually become open with things. I just burst the fucking door open and said, "Here's everything that's going on in my head! I don't want to hide anything so here's the whole deal." I started to become comfortable with sharing emotions but god, come on crying?! I'm not supposed to be bawling my eyes out for others to hear. That's crosses the whole "I'm okay with everything. I'm tough scenario" I had going on. With you, I promised to be open with everything. But I guess everything is too hectic for even myself to understand. I don't want to regret it. Because honestly, it has given us a great amazing bond. My fists are aching for relief. But I'm not letting them because I promised you. I just don't know how I'm going to control this. Pleaase Pleaase talk to me if there's anything else.