The Finale? 10 Months Point Pleasant

You wake up in the morning, expecting and hoping for the best. It hurts more to narrow your mind on just that. Therefore, one must be aware of the worst. I did that this morning. Hard feelings were still felt, but an argument was prevented. Sometimes I question if that is really a fair trade-off. Today we made 10 months. I swear, from the 30th of October 2009, and every monthary after that, something goes wrong. It's literally like we're PMSing, but so much more constant than well, my own cycle. I can't say that we completely pulled out of that ditch today, considering how you left tonight so abrupt. I already confessed my feelings for you last night, and they are nonetheless true.

Anyways, we couldn't hang out today. It was honestly a big bummer because today means a lot to you and I. I haven't seen you for two days, but what can we do, right? I have previously declined plans

with Kim to be with you today, but that decision didn't live up to it's every word. In the midst of curling my hair, because I had nothing better to do with my life, she texted me with the offer again. I told her the situation, and I was out of the house by 4PM. Unfortunately, we were stuck in a car for two hours until we reached Point Pleasant Beach. Her family kept irritating her, always talking and nagging. All I could do was really laugh, trying to keep moods light.

To kidnapped my phone and we were on that for a majority of the time. FINALLY on the boardwalk, we were able to walk around on our own and explore. We ended up playing DDR in the arcade on standards that weren't so standard. When first put our money in, she hit "single player" only. Then, when we got another game, she put our multiplayer mode on battle. PLUS, there was a creepy guy who stood behind us, trying to comment on a few things. As much of a fail as that was, it was all the more hilarious and memorable. We indulged on a fudge apple with mini-M&Ms after our dinner. We also got a free ride as the guy who collected tickets at The Himalaya didn't even pay attention as we passed through. He thought we had unlimited ride passes and continued to count his tickets. On the way home, we encountered more dilemmas. Leaving around 9:40PM, I did not get home until about midnight. About 30 min. into the drive back home, we realized that the stroller was left back at the shore. We had to drive back. The entire drive back, Kim texted for me, as I sat there next to her, feeding her things to say. It was well-enough a very worthwhile night.

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Who knew that I would really end up here, saying my good byes to something I thought wouldn't last it's length. Who knew that one year of simply documenting myself would also mean documenting the greatest and worst feelings in my entire life? Here, in words and pictures, I have dedicated a blog to a year where I find true happiness and experienced the greatest struggles of my life thus far. I can read back to day 5 and realize how I've grown as a person. I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow. I think I'm going to start a new, similar project. because I am so used to this, and so proud. Thank you so much for the few readers I've had. It's meant so much to me, that people would actually be willing to read into a life like mine. I hope to see you in my new blog, one way or another! Photos are from the beach of course :)

Tears, Target & A Phone Call

I told myself I would try to start summer reading and AP Chem work today. Yeah, pretty funny joke there. The most of my efforts went to trying to get a ride to the mall to get a phone case, and still I am empty handed. Last night didn't go well, as far as continuing that three day streak of pure happiness. I screwed up a nice, awaited phone call, being tired and out of it completely. I called him back this morning and it completely made up for last night. Our tired, groggy selves started talking and for almost an hour did I feel happiness. The happiness I should have felt last night. I went to Target tonight, hoping to get a phone cover. What I did get though, was a crying sister, whom was arguing with her boyfriend. She wanted to go to the beach with him tomorrow morning, but his backup car has bad tires. She tried to negotiate with him, propositioning to go half on the two tires at $45 a piece. He really didn't want to spend the money on a car he rarely uses. I tried to cheer her up, cracking jokes here and there, and for the most part it worked. Tomorrow is a big day, and I'm excited :) It's the 30th! Photo is of the childhood dream.

Believing That Gut Feeling Again

I'm not sure how much truth is in the feelings I felt today, and I'm a little embarrassed to post it. I would like to believe that we are finally happy. I know that a streak of three days of nothing but happiness, can't exactly prove me right, but I couldn't help but indulge in our happiness.

This morning went pretty well, as far as rehearsal goes. We started learning work, which meant we are starting to turn the notch up for the rookies. Even with that, everyone was learning work at a decent pace, especially for the first day. I'm pretty confident with where we are right now. We only have 2 new girls. Jaelynn came by with Erik to visit, and it was really nice seeing her in that environment again.. I wish things weren't the way they were, but I can only do so much and keep moving. I just might try again, but I don't want to ride up her butt about rejoining. So maybe just once more. After rehearsal, I hit up the lover because I have been dying to see him. Apparently, the maid was still home and finding reasons to stay longer. While waiting, I made my way to 7-11 where I bought myself a slurpee and two taquitos. Finally, when I was able to go over his hosue when the coast was clear, I have him one taquito and most of the slurpee. [it started to melt!] Minus a scare in the form of a knocking at the door WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE FRANCIS, everything in this day had my mind and heart in the state on being content. Three days of this and I don't know whether or not to believe my gut feeling. Photo is of another flag design I tried to make for our guard this morning. It's crap, I know.

New Phone Texting Like A Monster All Day

Wow, it's crazy to think that I have about one more post before this project ends. "Gah, my hands hurt so much from texting... ON MAH NEW BLACKBERRY THAT FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL TODAYY. I woke up today, early, hoping he could come over. Unfortunately he couldn't, so I just went back to sleep. I stayed up a bit, but I was too tired myself to wait for the lover who also went back to sleep. I finally got up at 1PM, ready to make myself a good breakfast: chocolate chip-filled pancakes. YUMM! Later, into the afternoon, I awaited my package via Fedex. When it came, I was running down the stairs like a little girl on Christmas morning. The guy who delivered my package didn't look to cheer and when I opened the door something fell from above. Apparently, my mom had put tisse at the top of our screen door because there is a gap were flies are getting in. When I opened it, it all fell down, and even I was shocked and confused. He thought I intentionally threw it at him, but I, nervously laughing, denied it. I thought he was gonna beat me up or something. The events after that were simple: texting, texting, setting up my new phone, setting up BBM, BBMing all day and all night. I only have three friends on BBM right now, but its whatever. Photo is of my new phone :D As much as I hated the craze, I'm in it now.

The Most Prominent Feeling

As updated on Facebook, I had a really good day- and it's true! After not having seen the lover for about 2 weeks, he finally was able to get out of the house and come over. It was so heart-relieving to be next to him, playing COD4. Man, I really suck at that game! Early into the afternoon, we left my house and rode to Wendy's for some food. From there on, and everything else we did that day, we had one of the greatest conversations ever. We didn't speak of anything specific the entire time, but it seemed like no matter what we did talk about, conversation was always fresh, lively, and flowing. It seemed like every laugh we shared was so genuine and in the moment. "In the moment" where as there was no other way to go but enjoy what we were doing and who we were with. I didn't have butterflies in my stomach; it wasn't something like that. I'm already well enough comfortable with this guy that even though butterflies are still around, they aren't the most prominent feeling. The most prominent feeling runs through my entire being, knowing in fact that I'm spending time with the love of my life and no matter what I do with him, I am always happy.

It seems that the past while that I have been down and stressed was undone. I've come to realize that he is my major happiness & I am so grateful for that. Photo is of him and his shirt [which I really like] while we were at Wendy's. PS. I got preached to at Target tonight. -_- It was kind of weird to experience it while trying to shop around, but I'm starting to favor the idea of going by the Bible, word for word.

Happy Birthday Deejay Rock!

I take a little step outside out of my recent negativity and realize that hey, I had a good day. After church, I went to Deejay's house for his birthday. We all just chilled out for the afternoon, watching movies and eating some good BBQ and chips. I was told to bring a bathing suit just in case, but it was raining for a good while. I was mentally set on an afternoon in, just chilling. A small group of us, Jae, Ana, Emily, Shianne, Deejay, and I, talked and chilled out, even playing some pool and air hockey. Politely, I stopped texting the lover, and actually enjoyed the party. I didn't worry too much and just decided to have a good time. I haven't been out much lately, so today was the start of that change. It was nice getting to hang out with Jae again, along with Ana, too. Times like today with these people always have me laughing so hard, I love them! Photo is of Kim's bracelet which I finished tonight! :)

Inception Towards The End Of My Project

A a dream, within a dream, within a dream, within a dream = MINDFUCK.

Ah, it was a good movie. Although we saw the 11:30PM showtime, which didn't really start until midnight, and it ended at 2AM, it was well worth it. So much thinking actually kept me awake. This morning, I showed up for a Tag Day with Anna, Sison, and the Burtons. It was nice, because we were all too lazy and hot to keep asking. I was so unwilling to do it that I sat at my kitchen table until 9AM and then decided to get dressed and leave. Mind you, report time was at 9AM. Afterwards, I got picked up by my brother and we went to Dunkin Donuts with his girlfriend. It was weird at first, but she seemed nice enough. We actually had conversation which never happens. I would typically just avoid it at all costs. Then, I got my hair fixed by Ireesh, which I'm very grateful for. She gave me tips about getting my hair cut at salons and whatnot. I find it much easier to go to someone you know and tell them what you want in opposed to trying to tell a stranger- specifically the old peeps at the mall. Photo is of a soccer field. My brother's friend had a game, so we stopped by before the movies.

I've Eaten Way Too Much Today & Ran From A Storm

Everyone aspires to be the individual- to be the person who can stand on their own. I have become an individual, and I have never felt so alone in my life. This isn't a pity post about how lonely I am in my life and how I wish I had my old life back. This is about the human realization that being "an individual" isn't all it's hyped up to be. It's the dream to always have someone by your side, when you're up, down, piss-drunk, high, etc.

Today was annoying mixed with a side of stress, while I honestly thought I was going to get that physical vacation I've been begging for. My mind has checked out so long ago that my body needs to catch up. We went to the beach today. Last night was so hectic figuring out whether we should go to 6 Flags or the beach, and we decided the beach. Then, this morning while I was getting ready, my sister calls me and asks if I still want to go. That is where the irritation began. I was frustrated in fact that the decision was made and here we were last minute, questioning it. Can we please stick to one plan? The day could not go without my mother complaining and whining about what should've, could've, and wasn't done. We forgot to bring coins for tolls and parking. We forgot to bring a blanket. She would not hop off either problem. Aside from that, today was fun. Riding the waves, learning how to tread water, boobs popping out, seeing fatter versions of Taylor Lautner... today was good. It didn't live up to the potential vacation my mind had set, but what ever does right?

When we got back from the shore, I quickly came home to shower and change. I met up with friends at Red Robin's for Deejay's birthday dinner. It was chill, but this is where I felt the difference of being an individual. I felt like I was fending for myself, trying to keep myself out there. It's been a while since I was able to chill with people, feeling 100% comfortable with them and not afraid to open my mouth. Times have changed and here I am. I caused too many awkward moments tonight because I'm kind of out of the loop. I want to be the kind, chill person I know I can be, but I'm afraid that when I say things I'm too comfortable with, I sound like a jerk because these aren't the right people to say it to. As an end result, I don't say anything at all. What's wrong with me? Photo is of a crane machine at Point Pleasant that reminded me of Jacob. He really wanted one, but I didn't do it xD VUVUZELAAAS!

Failure By Design

Tonight brought up a little scare that had me down in the dumps. All day I felt on the fence, nor happy nor sad, but by 9PM, the night was already a tough one. When our relationship is risked, I freak out. Then, I have to play the whole "he said she said" game and find out who knows, when we're trying to keep it on the down-low. I look back on it now and I feel bad for suddenly riding up my friend's ass with blame and a warning. I should have approached the situation more politely, but hey, it's what happened. Today also consisted of trying to make flag designs for our show. I'm willing to do as much as I can to make this show good. It will literally be ours. Photo is of that design. PS. I need to get out more..beach tomorrow yay! :D

Captain? I Am & Swimming? I'm Up For It

Today felt like our first legitimate practice. I haven't done anything lately, so I found myself breathing heavily and a little out of shape. A new girl came today, and teaching her with the other four of us went the closest it could be to "smoothly". I feel like I'm adapting more into this role as captain because giving commands or leading flag basics doesn't make me too nervous anymore. It still does, but at a much more comfortable level. Although I miss a few people who are gone and a new girl quit today, I'm still moving forward. In my role, I aspire to be the best leader I can be and give these girls the greatest experiences as a guard member. I want them to feel what I've felt in my years experiences. Sure, there are times when I hate it, but I know without it, I'm slightly lost. The new girl has a boyfriend in the band and I wished for myself, "Dang I wish my boyprend was here, too!"

Later, after practice, I thought he wasn't coming by. While I was in the chorus room, I turned around and there he was standing in the middle room! Anything else on my mind such as guard, practices, or friends completely left my conscience. My mind dropped into a state where my one and only goal was to get over there and hug him so tightly. It was the same feeling as from last night and I loved it. We ended up going swimming at Deejay's house with Ana and Emily which was fun, to say the least. I like this idea of hanging out altogether. I mean, based on my views of today, it worked out. Maybe this is possible. Photo is of a flag design we might need, considering how our instructor had to quit. We're on our own.

Only For A Minute

The best part of my day happened about an hour ago - and it was only a minute. Last night I asked my brother around 1AM if he could drive me to Jacob's place to drop off the 10 or 11 dozen cookies, packaged in a Quaker Oats Variety Pack box, that I made just for him along with the music note bracelet I made. He said no. I tried to make deals with him and bribe him, but it was still a no. He said he would do it tonight. I asked earlier tonight and he said no, so I tried to ask my sister, bribing her as well. No's all across the board, I couldn't do anything about it. Then, my brother says, "Hey Tep, I'll take you to see Jacob if you come with me to Blockbuster." The only distinct thought that ran through my head was "OH-MUH-GAAAAAAAAAAAD. OH-MUH-GAAD!" I was unbelievable happy in that moment and every moment until I got home. Anyways, we drove over there in the midst of the night after finding out that Blockbuster now closes at 11PM and it was already midnight. On quiet Union Ave., I got out of the car and waited at the bottom of the steps, one house down, out of view, box and bracelet in hand. I haw him walking down the step and I began to feel a tingle in my face. Uh, yeah. It's kind of like butterflies in your stomach, but on your face. Don't judge me -_-' I began move frantically in place, as if I were standing on a pile of hot rocks, barefoot. As dark as it was, and as unclear he was to me, I knew well enough this is the person I've missed for 5 whole day. So quickly that I couldn't even pull out a smile first nor say a word, I hugged him tightly. I was so happy and complete, in that moment. We tried to part ways once with a "Goodbye" and "I love you", but I hesitated twice to do so and came back for kisses and hugs. Ah, this is where the significance in my day lays. I

I tried to go out earlier, to Deejay's but the parents said no, and considering how much they've been letting me out lately, I dealt with it. If I don't argue back, they'll keep letting me out :D I ended up cleaning the kitchen a bit and I even got a compliment when Papa came home. Go team. Photo is one of Papa and I which I sent to Jacob as proof I was sitting next to him!

I'm Still Waiting To Shit Bricks

The only significant thing I can recall from today is..well baking tonight. I made a whole other batch of Tollhouse cookies for the family, considering the past ones were all for the lover. Ah, no I remember. This morning I woke up, begging to close my eyes again. Last night, I followed a random urge to cut my hair. I wanted all the layers I had before so I grabbed the scissors. This morning, I didn't move once I gained conscience. For a second I almost believed it was all a dream, but I then pulled at my hair to find its length not so lengthy at all. My layers are uneven; hopefully I can have Ireesh fix them for me. I've had them pinned back for the rest of the day, playing the new 360 and whatnot. I haven't done much today; everyone has gone out to see Inception.. I need to see it! Photo is one of two sketches I did earlier of costume ideas for this year. Oh, dilemmas.

QUAINT

Ah, so my morning started off on a hasty foot, but that's how my Sunday's always are. I got up at 10AM to shower and get ready for mass at 10:30AM. I even decided to shave, thinking I had enough time. I ended up only shaving one leg. It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but that's why I wore pants, for the first time this whole summer, to church. I haven't had plans all week, so today was my first time doing anything in a long while. Tonight I went out for a last dinner with Jon, Khate, and Ana, considering that Jon is leaving tomorrow. We all went out to the Brookside Thai Restaurant on Broad St. after debating which place was really the best to go to. We got plate that were all so good; I got the spicy flat noodles that my sister always gets. We also had Thai iced teas which were AH-MAZING. on immediately went after Khate's glass, while I was already slurping down mine. We all picked at each other's orders, sharing the goodness! We even moved aside glasses from the center of the table to avoid spillage. After failure to calculate our bill portions quick enough, we walked along Broad St. and loitered around McDonald's. Eventually got picked up at QuickCheck where the night began to come to the end. Nothing crazy or outgoing happened tonight, which isn't a problem at all. It was a very chill, funny night and I'm going to miss you Jon Cana :) Hopefully, next year I'll be able to drive and things will be much much easier! Photo is of the cookie mix for the batch of Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies I made today for Jacob. I really wish I could see him tomorrow.. it's been a long weekend without him.

Depression Pits & Missing You

I didn't bother to wake up until 1:30PM. After pulling an all-nighter, sleep was a much desired thing. I found myself tripping into these holes of depression every now and then today. I went to the mall tonight and in XXI I felt it. I felt when I woke up because I thought he was mad at me. I don't like this feeling.. because it reminds me of how I used to be. About once a month, I would get that sick feeling in my stomach where I wanted to just die. It wasn't a pain. It was more like an emotion. It was like a period, haha. Anyways, I couldn't stand today, knowing that I couldn't talk to him. I updated Facebook with "A Toy needs batteries to operate. Me? I need you." It's true. When I can't talk to you or you're not around, I feel so incomplete. I become so lethargic and unwilling to do anything. I'm so glad you're coming back tomorrow night.. I truly am. Photo is of me in the fitting room! I finally got the type of blouse with a zipper in the back, I was ecstatic [emotionally, not showing it] and I felt very fulfilled. The other photo is of the bracelet I'm making for Jacob. :) I finished Ana's earlier.

Alternating Week For The Loner & The Socialist

Well, this sucks. It's currently, 5:37AM into Saturday and I have been up all night. On Thursday night I tried to pull an all-nighter with Jacob, but grew tired around 4AM. We should have given it a day's notice. Hrmm..I'm getting confused with time references now. YESTERDAY, nothing really happened. I've been very lazy this past week, realizing that I phases in and out of being the loner and the socialist. The majority of this week has been portrayed by the loner. Last week was the other. Today I took any opportunity to go out, so I went with my sister and her boyfriend to the DMV. She had to renew her license and I was so fascinated and excited to get my own permit soon. Then, we went to the mall, here I bought a few items and got my hair trimmed. On the way home we went to Sonic and AC Moore. I've spent this whole night working on Ana's piano bracelet [the first of a long list of requests] and chatting with a few friends. It was really an interesting night. A drunk Seamus IMed me on Facebook Chat, asking for dirty pics and other nonsense. It was so hilarious in the dead of the night around 4AM. Photo is of mama sleeping while I straightened her hair. -_-'

5 Dozen Cookies Ready To Be Served

Words can't express how happy I was to have a day without rain..just kidding, I was just simply happy. Last night, I baked about 5 dozen cookies for the love and he actually got to come over for a little bit to have some. I was a little irritated in the morning when it came to waiting another hour for him to leave because frankly, I just wanted to be be with him as soon as my eyes cracked open. Later, we rode back to his place, where we parted ways for the rest of the week. He leaves for Virginia Beach tomorrow and the thought of him not being around makes me not want to wake up or do anything tomorrow or the next day. But life goes on right? Upon leaving, he gave me the Munny he bought for me, something I've always wanted, wrapped so creatively in an Urban Outfitters bag. It made me love the gift even more. I gently untaped it to get to the gift, preserving the unique wrapping. It inspires me to make a bag out of it :D Photo is of the cheap, crappy, $5 speakers I painted over tonight. My artistic abilities sparked again.

Burnt Thumb With A Side Of Alotta Bit Of Lovin'

I've currently just put in the last batch of Nestle Toll House Cookies in the oven. I've been making cookies since around 9:30PM for the lover. I made them straight from scratch, and even burned myself along the way. Gah, that hurt so much..

This morning was pretty damned eventful. When it comes to making decisions, my mind doesn't like choosing rationality over desire. This morning I took up the slightest opportunity to see him. He was going to walk to the music store on Washington Ave. and I wanted to come along. I knew that it was going to rain today. I was just putting my best bets on it not raining until the early afternoon. I biked my way to his house and my sister's boyfriend, Phil, passed by. He greeted me and warned me of the down pour on its way. I told him I was aware, but at the same time I really wasn't.

So I reached the parking lot behind the Chiropractor's Office where I usually wait for him. I called him and while it rang, the tiny drizzle quickly progressed into something more - something greater. He answered and gave me the bad, but not completely uncalled for, news. He told me that if it started raining soon, he wouldn't be able to leave. The tears that attempted to form were useless because I should have known better. It was my fault for following my desire to see this guy and not think about getting caught in the rain. Sometimes this impulsiveness works out for me; sometimes it doesn't.

I had no other option but to head home before it got worse. Biking home was going to be a bitch so I remembered how Phil passed by. I called him up and asked for a ride home. I left the bike at his house and was driven back. I couldn't even stand the rain in my face on the bike to his house not too far away, so I couldn't imagine the journey home via bike.

Nothing else really happened today, other than Jon's flight getting delayed to Monday again. Woop! Photo is of the mass I made of myself baking tonight!

Fail To Say Goodbye

The initial plans for today didn't go according to plan. [But the never do, right?] Considering the fact that Jon leaves today, Ana and I wanted to hang out with him one last time. His flight was at 5PM leaving Belleville at 4PM, so we wanted to have a little get together for lunch around 1PM. The idea was to meet at Ana's and have a little "pizza picnic". Weather denied that from happening. I decided to still chill with Ana today, and it was good. We kind of had our "Going Away Party" for Jon without him. We ordered pizza and played Xbox. Ohh - how I want that one bad! It was a very chill day and I enjoyed it. Honestly, at times I did feel like I wasn't as exciting as others who come over, but I hope she enjoys my company as much as I do hers. I REAALLY want an Xbox 360.

This morning was good, too. He came over, even though he was tired and I'm so grateful for that. The first thing I did was thank him. We made chocolate chip pancakes which were amazing and I finished making batches of cookies. It started raining and even with that, we biked to the other side of Belleville. We ARE troopers :) I love you so much, for every sacrifice you do for me. Photo is of awesome band-aids I teased Jacob about. He hates Dora :)

Finished Bracelets & Redeemed Meetings

In my eyes, today was very eventful. Unfortunately the morning didn't go according to plan, as he woke up late. Initially, he was to wake up around 8 and get here in the morning so we could have a day to us, but he didn't wake up until 11AM. I was a little upset because I was so excited to see him, but as long as I was going to see him soon, I was content. He came over and we hung out. We walked to "China Town" to get some Chinese food to bring it back to the house - we ate while watching Adventure Time. Ah, fun. We were able to spend a lot more time than usual, but he had to leave around 4PM. I left with him. We went to Wendy's where I finally got in contact with Roland. He called me at 4PM and the showtime for a movie we wanted to watch was at 5:20PM. At that time, we were still at Wendy's and the notice was way too short. They drove by and we tried to work something out. Didn't work out. I would have really loved to hang out with Roland, but I guess not today. "I guess, if you get there, we'll see you there," they said. Unfortunately, Jacob was down for reasons of feeling ditched or used for a period of time and then put aside while I hang out with others. That case is not true. Not too far on the way biking home, I came up with the reckless idea to catch up with him. Hey, if I wasn't going to see the movie, then I still wanted to see him. I didn't think too much into it, but at the First Station, I turned my bike around and peddled like hell.

I made it pretty far without stopping, but I was a little sad to not see any sign of him in the distance. I didn't stop until I got to the hill. That was kind of tiring, not gonna lie. I didn't stop though, I just went slower. I kept trying to call him and it all seemed like a replay of this morning when I called him about 20 times like a crazy woman trying to wake him up. He finally called back and I, out of breath, answered. I explained to him my impulsive decision to bike after him and he agreed to meet me behind his house on Tappan Ave. So I'm biking aimlessly up and down the street and then I notice a big, red Chevy Trailblazer pass by. His mom drives a big, red Chevy Trailblazer. FML. I'm a little freaked out, and so I call him. I asked if his mom came home and he said yeah, she just got in. I explained to him the situation and he said he doesn't think she saw me, since she didn't mention it.

Eh, her being home meant I couldn't see him. Yet, I was pretty thirsty [I had a frosty at Wendy's] so I still asked for a water. He left it on the front steps and I got it. He called me back up with a "My mom want to know if you're thirsty?" I was being invited up for a refreshment. I didn't know what to think nor did I know what to say other than a jumble of stutters. This was the lady who caught us and lectured us twice - is she really asking me to come up? I've learned to take initiative and I accepted. I came into the kitchen, greeted her, and sat down while he made a pitcher of Lipton Iced Tea. I managed to keep cool while she asked about me. This was definitely a better way to meet her. Then, his father came home. It was all definitely weird in a sense, but I over came that and greeted him as well. As time went on, I stuffed myself with so much Iced Tea. I felt like I might throw up on the ride home. When I finally left, I thanked her for the drink and said goodbye. He walked me out to the front and we shared our hugs and few kisses. I'm so proud of that afternoon because I could easily have held back on the offer and went home, but I took it up to see where my possibilities would lead. I finished my first good bracelet tonight! that is another thing I am proud of. The photo is of just that.

Conversion Factors and Threads

The only reason why I was up early today was because of church. Mass was at 10:30AM and I literally woke up at 10:10AM. For that hour of mass, I was awake - in thought that is. I usually let my mind wander through other things, but my mind focused on the future. What if I convert? Maybe I'll be more involved in our religion than I am now. I mean, I sit here for an hour thinking about other things. Even if I do convert, my perspectives of God will never change. Will it really make my parents change their view of me? I can't think of all of this now. Live in the moments and we'll tackle these dilemmas when they come around.

After church, I went with my father to A.C. Moore. I needed to pick up some beads to fix up my sandals - the design is coming off. I picked up a piece to also fix my bracelet. Additionally, I wanted to start making those "friendship bracelets" that you can always find down the shore. I absolutely lovee those! I started on them. My first one was too short and I'm currently half way through my second, better one. Photo is of my first crappy one! XD