Depression Pits & Missing You

I didn't bother to wake up until 1:30PM. After pulling an all-nighter, sleep was a much desired thing. I found myself tripping into these holes of depression every now and then today. I went to the mall tonight and in XXI I felt it. I felt when I woke up because I thought he was mad at me. I don't like this feeling.. because it reminds me of how I used to be. About once a month, I would get that sick feeling in my stomach where I wanted to just die. It wasn't a pain. It was more like an emotion. It was like a period, haha. Anyways, I couldn't stand today, knowing that I couldn't talk to him. I updated Facebook with "A Toy needs batteries to operate. Me? I need you." It's true. When I can't talk to you or you're not around, I feel so incomplete. I become so lethargic and unwilling to do anything. I'm so glad you're coming back tomorrow night.. I truly am. Photo is of me in the fitting room! I finally got the type of blouse with a zipper in the back, I was ecstatic [emotionally, not showing it] and I felt very fulfilled. The other photo is of the bracelet I'm making for Jacob. :) I finished Ana's earlier.

Alternating Week For The Loner & The Socialist

Well, this sucks. It's currently, 5:37AM into Saturday and I have been up all night. On Thursday night I tried to pull an all-nighter with Jacob, but grew tired around 4AM. We should have given it a day's notice. Hrmm..I'm getting confused with time references now. YESTERDAY, nothing really happened. I've been very lazy this past week, realizing that I phases in and out of being the loner and the socialist. The majority of this week has been portrayed by the loner. Last week was the other. Today I took any opportunity to go out, so I went with my sister and her boyfriend to the DMV. She had to renew her license and I was so fascinated and excited to get my own permit soon. Then, we went to the mall, here I bought a few items and got my hair trimmed. On the way home we went to Sonic and AC Moore. I've spent this whole night working on Ana's piano bracelet [the first of a long list of requests] and chatting with a few friends. It was really an interesting night. A drunk Seamus IMed me on Facebook Chat, asking for dirty pics and other nonsense. It was so hilarious in the dead of the night around 4AM. Photo is of mama sleeping while I straightened her hair. -_-'

First/Last Hang Out For Sarah Aristizabal

I can honestly saw that I enjoyed today a lot more than I would have expected to. As the title for this post claims, we hung out one last time before Sarah's move to Florida. Technically, this was a first time for me, not including her birthday party three years ago. Well let's see where the day started off. I know that the first and only thing I could remember from the morning was waking up feeling grimy and sticky. Ugh, this heat is crazy. Too tired to shower last night, I was just going to shower in the morning. Bad choice. Even though I promised my mom that I would clean before I left, I woke up too late for that. I took my shower, got ready, and waited for the right time to leave. I went to the station with Jon and Khate and we took the train to Jersey City. Meeting up at Babo, we found Sarah and the rest of the group. I was uneasy at first with who was here because I never hung out with any of them other than Jeremy. As it turns out, that didn't matter too much today because I just went with the flow of everything and got along with everyone - without my typical awkwardness. At Babo, Jon, Khate, and I got some yummy bubble tea and food. At first, we sat separately from the rest of the group, but they eventually migrated to our table so that was good. We later left to walk around the waterfront. We played ninja various times and at random places. After a while, we finally decided to head over to NYC where we could play it in the center of Times Square - yeah, that never happened. Once we got off at 33rd St., we walked through K-Town! There were some interesting shops and had we not big in one big group I would've definitely gone in many of them! The first place we hit was the NYC Public Library. Random, but Jon had a random urge to go so we went. The place was really amazing, almost like something out of a Harry Potter movie. Jon, Khate, and I then split from the group to go into H&M while they went to Bryant Park. Seeing that I was short on money, I didn't buy anything. We found them back at the park where we also found this amazing guy who danced with a hula hoop! I never knew how creative one could get with that plastic ring, but goodness! He answered my curiosities! He danced with it like a guard member, letting it rolling down to his legs and back all the way up over his head and even doing it at his shoulders with his head town, tossing it - just so insane! Oh! There was also this huge public yoga class going on there. That was cool! It was literally 200 people with a cleared aisle in the middle where the instructors spoke and have directions. I played the Penis game with Joe while walking around - that was crazy!

We went back to Hoboken for dinner. It was my first time going there and there were so many bars! We even stood on the sidewalk while a woman in a limo, clearly drunk and celebrating maybe a Bachelorette Party, shook a blow-up doll out the windows of the car. There we were - party central. Khate was starving and I, too, could have used some food. For some reason, the walk down the street to the pizza place we were looking for seemed like miles. We passed by so many stores and restaurants I definitely want to visit! Finally we found the pizza joint, known as Benny's Restaurant Pizza. They are home to the largest slices of pizza, which take up 2 plates!! That shet was INSANE!! It was good though :) Nothing special, but just good. Good to have food in my stomach. This was where the night was coming to an end, and probably was the funnest part of the night. We laughed so hard trying to cut the damned pizza. It was hard to eat it - Joe and Khate rolled it up like a burrito and his looked like a huge blunt! Stomachs satisfied, we walked back to the station.

The walk back didn't seem as bad and was with-out a doubt, hilarious! I held on to Jon the entire time and pretended to be his drunk buddy! It felt necessary because that's basically how everyone else was in Hobokem. So every time we passed a restaurant, I became the tipsy, uncoordinated one night stand for Jon! It was great! At the Subway entrance, we parted ways with Sarah and Mike, who were getting picked up. The rest of us were headed to the subway. The ride back on the Exchange train hands down was the craziest part of the night. We found ourselves an empty cart, away from the groups of drunks, and partied out! We specifically got a cart with the poles in the middle, and Joe and Chris had a Stripper Dance Battle. Joe was naturally funny doing what he did best. Chris was a huge surprise, jumping onto the pole and doing crazy shit! everything a stripped can do and more! He even held on with both hands and carried his body up where his feet could touch the ceiling! I joke around, knowing I was in capable of doing ANY of that, jumped onto the pole, held on tight, and slid down. So sexy, right?! What I did do that was outside of my natural fears was hang upside down on the horizontal poles!! It was scary on a moving train, but I did it!

Unfortunately, when we switched over to another train, there were too many people present. Instead, we were squeezed on the corner and Jon leaned ALL of his weight against me! For the entire time! Even on the light rail he did so! Ahaha, today wasn't my typical type of fun, but I still enjoyed it, nonetheless.My old self would have weighed out options and decided not to go. Who I am in life is now taking initiative and so far, in every aspect of my life - it is working for the better. Photos are from this crazy day: a ukelele kit, this AMAZING K-bookstore, a wall of nice shoes at this one store [Jon bought a pair], me with a plsuh at the Sanrio store, the massive pizza slice, Joe's blunt, and the pizza joint.

At The End Of The Day, Here I Am: Broke.

We hit up Garden State Plaza today! :) Boy, do I love that place! It's like.. when I'm there, I have this burning hate for Willowbrook Mall! I'm tired of that mall and prefer getting lost in GSP. Anyways, as the morning led on I tried to figure out how we would get to the mall. At first, we only figured it be Jon and I, but I did remember Kim mentioned that she wanted to go also. I called her up and told her we should meet up at the mall because I was still figuring out transportation. She offered to be the ride and so our day began. We got picked up and were off! We spent the day shopping around going through XXI, Garage, American Apparel [fail], and of course Urban Outfitters. That's the store I saved my wallet for the most. Other than food, I didn't but anything else. I ended up purchasing a nice pair of high-top canvases that were my size and a pair of gray sunglasses. [Yeah, I have a lot I know] At the thought of food, we can't forget the monster foot-long that Jon and I created at Subway! Usually when I go there, I get this usual, tuna creation on my favorite roll: Italian Herb & Cheese. Let's see if I can remember this. It was a Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki sub with: provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, sweet peppers, olives, sweet onion sauce, and Chipotle Southwestern sauce! YUM. Jon and I split the sandwich, along with everything else these past two days! Sharing is caring. :) All I can say is that today was good. Very, very good :) Photo is of us at the Apple Store! We saw Chris there with his brother haha.

Jersey Gardens Has My Love

Today seemed like I wouldn't be able to get through it at first, but the afternoon lead to better. Some how I got through the school day with absolutely no one around. The majority of everyone was either at home because of projects or at the Bronx Zoo. Finally, when the end of the day came around, I got dropped off to his house to spend a mere 45 minutes with him. It was better than nothing, considering that I haven't seen him all day! By 4PM I was in the ca r with Alo, Joriz, and Roland on the way to the mall to get the guys their prom necessities. We ended up splitting up and I shopped around with Joriz. Even though I didn't buy much, there was so much I wanted! I was living off of $40 so I was trying not to buy a lot. I freaking love Jersey Gardens. The prices are gorgeous! :D I ended up only buying a locket necklace and earrings but that's okay because they were cheap! It was definitely a nice experience being at the mall with new friends, bonding better. Upon leaving, Joriz got mad at Alo because he wasn't picking up his phone and she was going to be late for work. We pulled another Mission Impossible that ended up not so possible. We got her to work about 20 minutes late, but she wasn't in trouble. She was still mad and Alo was emotionally depressed (lol) so he, Roland, and I went to Smashburger for dinner. That was definitely fun. For some reason I really get along with guys. In that case, I'm not afraid to be a little guyish or to any degree girly with them. It's really chill. With certain girls, you get a weird look if your out of element or too guyish. I really want Nike SBs! GAH. Photo is of Alo driving to Smashburger.

Chill Day, Set On Summer Mode

I'm definitely gonna eff up my audition tomorrow.. haha. Part of me has already given up on it and I still have like 20 seconds left to write. wamp. Today was chill. Church went by fact, as I allowed myself to drift into a continuous thread of thought about life. I reminisced on good and bad days, on good futures and bad. Something that urks me is that I went to church looking skinny, having not eaten. Then, after lunch, it goes all down hill from there. I still have not pooped yet and my stomach is bloated. I want to stay skinny all day! This afternoon I also went to the mall, after attempting to work on my audition piece. I finally got some B-cup bras, now that I actually measured myself! It does feel more fitting and comfortable, but it makes me a little sad to say I'm not a C-cup haha. I hemmed up some pants today, bought some nice tops, and the skirt I REALLY wanted. Yay for JC Penny. Thank God tomorrow is a delayed opening woot. Maybe I can work on my audition piece! Sike. Photo is of a square of sprinkles that made me happy. :D We bought 50 pc Munchkins on the way back from the mall.

UO Amazingg

Hrmm.. I could be lame and do some kind of April Fool's joke but naahh..hrm today I was actually social on a decent level! Whoever I talking to, I kep the conversation well together! :D After school, jazz was bearable, and after that I had to let you go. I'm coming to some kind of acceptence of letting you go to friends, but I still dont like it! haha I went to the nice Ueban Outfitters up in Montclair today for the first time ever..it was really nice! :D I ended up buying some nice v-necks and a nice shirt. I love it there! I also got a fake mustache mirror and nail polish woot! Photo is of you and your Play-Doh mustache :D

Stress Relief via Kohl's

Rain rain raaiinn.. It wont stop! Good. Maybe we can have a flood and have no school tmmrw! Today I relieved my stresses and eagerness to go shopping. Sure it wasn't the amazing mall, but it had to do. We went to Kohl's and I picked up two skirts for the concert and -finally- a pair of my own aviators :) i love how papa got mad at me for buying useless things (sunglesses) when hes the one who akways gets su glasses. ;P Photo is of some novelty egg basket that reminded me of his profile picture. wierd.

A Feeling Can Only Last So Long

My lips are dry and I lick them over in hopes for hydration. I finished Cirque 5 tonight, after dinner. God, don't you hate it when you're at the point where you're just about done reading for the night and then right at that point, the book gets amazing? It's a bitter-sweet feeling, it really is. My eyes said no, but my mind screamed, "KEEP FACKIN READING!" Long-behold, I am 4 chapters ahead and done with the book. This afternoon was good, until my dad lashed out the bitchiness right when we got home from the mall. I had some relief in shopping for hours with the madre, but a feeling can only last so long. Feelings of content only last until around 9:30 tonight. Photo's of this adorable rice bowl at East West that I wouldn't have minded purchasing.

Tiu Tiu Tiu

Sunday Sunday Sunday. I didn't do much today, just slacked around like usual..Church is church and I'm actually singing and participating in a way now we went to the mall for a bit and I got my eyebrows threaded. I can never not cry when I get them done! It's actually kind of funny. I found out that if I kept my original Chinese name, I would've been Stefanellie Tiu. I ate wafers allll day. Gah, I need to stop. Tomorrow we start second semester and things just might turn out good. :) Photo's of cam whoring in the car. haha It's not the best picture...It looks better from far away

Photobooth Failure

OHMYGOD I'M FINALLY UP TO DATE!

-celebrates-

Alright well today I cleaned when I woke up, and it was a chill day. Whenever I clean I love to blast music and just have a beat. Then, I watched Dracula as a Free Movie on Comcast On Demand. It really cleared up the story for me because I tried to read the novel a few years ago and all I can remember is my eyelids drooping!

Tonight came around and I went to the mall with my parents and sister. I was really hoping it would be my sister and i in the front seats, but my dad insisted to drive. I don't understand this because he didn't want to come in the first place! I was really hoping to go to Garden State Plaza because there is so much more variety with all the stores. I was hoping to go to Urban Outfitter, but that wish failed as well. So here we are at Willowbrook Mall, as usual, and we split up. I stuck with my sister and wandered around. We conquered the second floor in about 10 minutes, just going in and out of stores. I wasn't really in the shopping mood, but I liked being there anyway! We went to a store called Pink-O, which made me feel skeptical. It was one of those small quaint stores that don't get a lot of attention. As it turns out, the place is pretty chill with some nice prices! The cashier there was also very chill! She joked around about the own necklace I purchaced and how she actually wanted it, and how there is a matching dress fron Daffy's that would go so well. We found our way to Hot Topic where I found this amazing backpack! TMNT ftw! It reminds me of how last Halloween, Jaelynn, Ana, Abby, and I made our own cardboard shells that were very epic, I will admit! It was also kind of funny because all day my sister was trying to take pictured of herself on her phone. Every one just came out bad, but when I took the picture it looked great! :D Its just the natural touch. just kidding. lol

Oh then on the way back, I wanted for my sister to drive, so we could go to Coldstone, but my father being the party pooper drove home. Ugh, today was bad with my eating. I ate about two muffins, chicken, two cresceants, Nutella with Skyflakes, and oh god much more. >.> To think, I wanted to work out earlier this morning! Its a sign: this is the reason why I CAN'T stay home!!! The fridge and the pantry become my best friends! Or maybe its another sign: maybe my other friend is coming. >.>

btw. My parents are cute. :)