What A Silly, Naive Little Girl

There's something about being a teenage girl and setting yourself up for the downfall. Its like a game of jenga and your just pulling out all the wrong blocks, doomed to collapse. I have been expecting way too much. My optimism is beyond realistic. You would think I learn after the first let down. but I just pile up the hopes again. Ever since I hit middle school, I had these little fantasies where I figured someone cared enough to sneak into my locker and decorate it for my birthday. For two year, I opened up to the same shitty locker that I did the day before. SOmetimes I had hoped for a love letter from anyone: a friend, maybe an admirer, if one existed. Again, my heart would drop as I opened that metal thing on Valentine's Day only to find it empty.I don't tell anyone, but I still do it now. On my birthday or anygiven day,I paused for a second and slowly turn the combo. With my head leaded against the locker, excitement pulses for no reason. For what it was already known to happen, everything looks the same. I fiddle around just to check if there's anything different, but ofcourse there isn't. Tomorrow is something special to me. Your absence had me hoping you were at my locker for something cute, but I later figured out not. Im so fucking naive.. you didnt even bother to come find me or talk to me after wards and so there i sat.Jazz band started and as it turns out, you already found your way to the band room. still didnt talk. WTF. I guess leaving suited the situation since you went to play guitar anyway. its realistically not fair to do that to a person and talk to them later on and say you werent mad anymor e in the first place. Im afriad to conclude that everyone's enjoying their other friends. My fault, anyway. Photo is of a little drawing I did on the board in the back of my Algebra class.