I'm Continuing to Pray For Better

I thought today was good to start off, but reality more or less punched me in the face after church. It's the reality I never wanted to be true. It should have just stayed in the back of my mind as a worry. It's really disappointing when one promises to not do something for someone else or their self. How is it, when all this time I thought I was doing okay by steering away from the chances, that I end up finding out I drove right into it?

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From: Jacob

I Felt that I actually lost you :(

Jun 27, 12:31pm

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From: Jacob

Lately whenever we talk its horrible. Its gotten to the point that I'd rather go through the day alone cuz if we talk we only argue

Jun 27, 12:36pm

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From Jacob

I'm ashamed in myself because the loving care I had for you is gone. I'm sorry

Jun 27, 12:42 pm

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What the hell have I done? We had something relative to perfection and all I did was take everything for granted. Back around December, you told me that was the one thing not to do: take you for granted. I thought that as long as we can get through these problems, everything would be okay in the end- no matter how major or minor an argument was. In reality, things piled up and I've burnt your care out. This is not where my care and determination ends, though. I'm going to fix my mistakes one way or another and I'm figuring that "starting over" will do. I remember after one of the hundreds of arguments we had one time, I promised that every night I would pray to God that me and you will get through it all and that "one day we'll have it all." I still pray and I still believe it. I'm going to get us through this. I promise.

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From: Jacob

Obviously. But the I care about our future more than any fight cuz that's what we promised in the beginning

Jun 27, 8:57pm

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Photo is of a Tumblr post. Recently I've been staying in this room, in my natural state: lethargic and uninspired.