Call Me Crazy

The events of today are repeatable. What happened tonight is something I can't understand. I took a normal dose of coffee which, in turn, kept me up. Normally, even with the caffeine, I would pass out around 3AM. I'm not so sure, but around that hour, my eyes did no grow heavy. Instead, my entire body grew weak and my left hand was shaking anxiously. I needed to draw. I've been on such a hiatus from paper and pencil, that it all built up until now, begging to release. A majority of you will make fun of me for this, but I can't deny it. Hell, from a third person's view, I would've exited the screen by now. So lucky you for getting this far. Images flash through my head, not knowing what they mean. All that was for sure was that it was going to end up on the blank page in front of me. It took me all of 2+ hours to get through this. I began around 3AM and I'm typing this at 6:20AM. This is what it says on the back-

"I hope the sloppiness of this piece conveys the hard time I had making it. Every time I got to a flower, my whole body caved into a shiver. I fail to believe that the cold is the reason. A lotus represents rebirth; I feel like every flower was a release of bad memories. The roses at the bottom are part of what I have inherited as I let go of the old, hard feelings."

Oh- you haven't exited the window, yet? You're quite the trooper there. I never really know what I'm drawing or what meaning lies behind it until after I'm done. Tonight, though, I felt it with every pencil stroke. I'm not just drawing.